He's Gone
by TyKamiya
Summary: There's something wrong with Tai. Drowning in the chaos and insatiable hunger to regain control of his life, he takes his first steps down a path that the others can't follow. But when things go too far and adolescence transforms into something gravely sinister, it may already be too late to escape not only from himself, but from the nightmares that begin to consume him.
1. Just Tai

Hi everyone, my name's Ty (Yes, I'm fully aware that it's just like Tai =] =] =] ) and I'm 18 years old now (as of 7/17/15). Fortunately and unfortunately, I had to discontinue my other story because DIGIMON ADVENTURE IS BACK! (I couldn't bring myself to write a story that could interfere with the upcoming Tri Storyline) I hope everyone is as excited as I am for it, even though now it's 6 movies rather than a show; I actually shed a tear back when I found out it was returning.

Anyway, this new story of mine I will 100% be able to complete over the next few years because it has no interference with the canon storyline (it'll all make sense in the end) so there won't be any reason for a discontinuation. This story is going to be very dark and to be honest, I've never read another story quite like it. It's really going to dive into the depths of insanity, growing up, and the tests of friendship.

Just as a heads up, there will be many mature themes in this story; I may have to switch the rating to M at some point but for now it's all good.

Also, there may be Taiora/Taito/Sorato/Michi/(Possibly more) pairings. However, though romance does play a major role, it is not the main point of this story. This is just a heads up for certain content that may be ahead. Any main/permanent pairing would involve Tai, but there are some _constraints_ that will be at play. This'll make sense by the end :) .

Last note, when a character is thinking I write it as '...' as opposed to normal quotations ("...") when a character is speaking.

Final Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon

With that said, please enjoy!

* * *

 **He's Gone**

 **Chapter 1**

 **Just Tai**

 _"You know what Tai? You've really grown up!"_

He remembered that day vividly, the day of Matt's winter concert. Painful memories bled their way to the surface of his thoughts; memories he'd tried to repress for ages now. He never expected Sora to fall for Matt; he never thought he would get rejected after she liked him for such a long time; he never thought things would be the way they were now.

Tai scrunched up his face in agony while recalling what Agumon had said to him. What a fucking joke. It couldn't have been any further from the truth. If anything, he'd only regressed since that time. Nothing was at all like it used to be.

Aside from him, everyone else _had_ grown up. Matt had become practically famous with his band; Sora was Captain of the Tennis team and Class President; Izzy was probably the most intelligent kid in their school (or district for that matter); Joe was preparing to do Pre-Med at one of many prestigious universities in Japan; Mimi was modeling in New York City; and then there was him.

He'd accomplished nothing, absolutely nothing in the past few years. He was stagnant now, trapped in the past. Lost, without much of a purpose for even existing. Things just weren't like they used to be, back in the day, when he lead the team of kids who saved the world.

Life was really hard back then, especially in the beginning, where everyday was a battle and a struggle just to survive. But moreover, it was such an incredible journey, being out in a treacherous, unknown world where the outcome was completely reliant on the actions of 8 kids way over their heads. Experiences like that forge lifelong bonds, friendships that last lifetimes... Or so he thought.

Everyone had depended on him back then. They had actually _needed_ him. Now, he was just... Tai.

Matt and Sora, two of the closest people to him on the planet, seemed to have forgotten about his existence in the blink of an eye. They were still his best friends, but... It just wasn't like it used to be. Everyone was moving onto bigger and better things, while he had just become just utterly average. Average was not OK with him. There was no way he could ever be content with that. And yet, that's exactly what he'd let himself become.

A cool March breeze blew across the concrete sidewalks as he walked to school alone, moving at a constant, tedious pace. He didn't think about where he was going or what he was doing, rather simply allowing his legs and body to respond on their own, knowing that they'd take him to where he needed to be. He really didn't want to think anyway; every time he did, it only furthered his frustrations.

This wasn't the first time he'd dwelled on the sad truth of things. It was on his mind too often; slowly eating away at him while he idly did nothing about it. These were supposed to be the best years of his life, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd done anything even the least bit eventful. High School had just been a series of repeated failures and disappointments. Where was the excitement and great times in his life? Where were the people and the experiences that he was always told he would remember for the rest of his life? He was almost 18 now, legally an adult but still mentally a kid. It was a very unique time; not quite a child yet still not an adult, and he was sitting around doing nothing with his life.

He constantly told himself that he wanted to change, but never took the initiative to do anything about it. Maybe he continued to do nothing about it because he was afraid of what he'd find on the other side. Maybe, in all honesty, he was afraid of who or what he'd become if he actually took those first steps to become his own person... He'd lived in the past for such a long time, maybe it was time to let the past stay in the past. Those days weren't coming back and neither was the person he used to be. If he wanted to rid himself of this stagnation, he'd have to finally, after all of these years, give up the old Tai that had been keeping him chained to the ground.

For some reason, something clicked right then and there in his head. Suddenly, everything became clear and focused, like clouds parting way to the sunshine. In that moment, he could feel something new shine through him for the first time in a while.

Youth was too short for him to just go through the motions. If something was missing from his life he always used to be the type of person to go out and fix it himself. _That's who_ he was. He was a leader; someone who follows the beat of his own drum, despite what anyone else thinks. Someone who doesn't wait for change, someone who _makes_ change happen. From here on, he wouldn't be _just_ Tai any longer.

* * *

This will by far be the shortest chapter- I'm expecting future chapters to be well over 5x this length.

Thank you for reading and please Fav/Follow/R! It really gets me writing quickly. Also, please PM me if you want to discuss the story or anything involving Digimon! I'd love to chat anytime!

Finally, I will update my profile bio constantly to let you guys know how soon future chapters will be up. Thanks!


	2. Liar

Hi again everyone, I'm glad I was able to get this chapter out before I leave for UNI TOMORROW! It's crazy how bittersweet it is to be leaving home but I can't wait. I'm heading to McGill University in Montréal (which is international for me since I live in America) to study Earth System Science- it's gonna be amazing!

Hope everyone's been keeping up with all Digimon Tri related news- My hype for it to come out (11/21/15) is unreal.

I was gonna make this chapter twice as long but I decided I should get something out before I leave- Enjoy!

* * *

 **He's Gone**

 **Chapter 2**

 **Liar**

March 21st

Tai yawned irritably from the spot where he had stopped on the pavement and checked his cell for the time: 7:20 AM. Going to class was pretty much the last thing he wanted to do today, and from the looks of it, he was gonna be late.

He frowned as he dully gazed out at the school building in the distance, about 500 yards from where he stood. With its gray exterior, dark, tinted windows, and lack of any real vivacity, it certainly wasn't the most inviting complex he'd ever seen. It appeared to solemnly loom over all the other smaller shops and stores around it, like a storm cloud engulfing its surroundings. Tai shuddered. Just the thought of sitting in there while enduring endless hours of classes was enough to make his stomach turn. Its depressing aura was perfectly complemented by the bleak overcast in the sky. Everything seemed to take on the color gray today.

He really didn't want to see anyone today, or let them see him. He was in way too shitty of a mood to put up with anything or anyone. All he wanted right now, was to be alone.

So he walked.

Turning left onto a side street, he watched as the gloomy school building drifted out of sight. He had just earlier said to himself that he was gonna start taking control of his life again; this was a first step, of sorts. Although skipping school wasn't exactly the most badass thing a senior could do, just turning his back on school for the day reignited a sort of fire in him. He'd do what he wanted today, and that was that.

'Besides,' Tai thought, smirking, 'It's not like anyone's gonna miss me anyway.'

It wasn't like he was mad or anything, he just didn't feel like sheltering himself from what probably was the truth. For the first time in a while, he really didn't care all that much.

'They're probably all busy with their own lives anyway today,' he reasoned to himself. Everyone had a lot to do around this time of year. Spring was right around the corner and...

No, that wasn't right. The first day of Spring was today; it was already March 21st. And that meant his birthday was tomorrow!

'Shit...' he thought to himself, astounded. He had like, _completely_ forgotten. The fog he'd been in lately must've been worse than he initially thought. Who forgets about their own birthday?

To be perfectly honest though, he wasn't too thrilled that his birthday was tomorrow. It didn't exactly feel like a "Time for celebration."

Tai looked up towards the gray sky as he continued strolling down the cracking sidewalks. More and more buildings fell out of view behind his back as he kept walking without much of a direction or destination in mind. It wasn't like he didn't enjoy his birthday, he just didn't want to have it right now. Every year he'd always invited everyone over for cake and a movie, but nobody could ever pay attention to the movie because they'd all be talking too much. He remembered the time when he tried to chug half a liter of soda and eat a pack of Mentos after being challenged by Matt and ended up throwing up all over the place. He remembered another time when Mimi shocked everyone by showing up out of nowhere right in the middle of the party. He remembered last year when the older bunch started experimenting with alcohol and Izzy walked out because he was ' _Disappointed in us._ '

Tai found himself frowning at all of these happy memories... It just didn't feel quite like it used to.

He put his hands in his pockets and kept moving. He must've been walking for almost 40 minutes now and really hadn't gotten anywhere. The beach was up a couple blocks ahead so he figured he'd walk over there. The ocean always cooled his spirits whenever he was frustrated about something. And honestly, he could really use some simmering down; this whole morning had just been plain depressing. He was thinking too much.

As he got closer and closer to the water he could smell the scent of the salt water spray that coated the air. It was one of his favorite smells in the world. Finally, with only a block to go, he could see the sand and the water out in the distance. Even with the dismal clouds enshrouding the skyline, the water still looked just as beautiful as ever. Just seeing it was enough to bring the light back into his eyes.

He rushed over as quickly as possible and threw off his shoes as his feet hit the sand. It was probably too cold out to be running around barefoot, but he didn't even care. The pleasure of digging his toes through the sand outweighed the risk. Besides, it was a strangely warm morning for March, so it really wasn't that bad.

He threw his school and soccer bags down into the sand and dropped down next to them, lying down on his side, facing the water. He pulled his hood up over his giant mess of hair and just laid there; completely comfortable. A slow breeze glided over the beach as the waves continually rolled into the shore. Everything was just so peaceful right then and there; all he wanted to do was drift away into sleep and forget about all the problems that kept shifting through his head.

But he couldn't help but sense that something was... Off.

He begrudgingly sat up from his spot in the sand and yawned while rubbing his eyes. He picked his head up, still in somewhat of a daze, trying to figure out what was bothering him now. Though as he kept looking around he couldn't find anything that appeared strange or astray in the slightest. But then, out of nowhere, he noticed it. Something definitely wasn't right. It was eerily silent.

Deathly silent.

The only sound he could hear was this high pitched ringing that sounded as if it were coming across a great distance; like white noise. What was even stranger was that he couldn't hear the ocean waves rolling onto shore. It was like someone had muted it, or if all the sound had just been sucked out of the world through a vacuum.

His heart started beating a little faster as worry and panic began to creep into his mind; weird things like this hadn't happened in a long, long time, not since the problems with the Digital World. Weird things like this weren't _**supposed**_ to happen anymore. It seemed that once he took notice of the ringing it only grew louder and more excruciating in his head, like his brain was expanding and crushing up against his own skull.

 _ ****!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡****_

By now, he literally _**could not**_ hear anything but the high screeching in his ears, like if someone was blowing an air horn through his eardrum. He jumped up from his spot in the sand as quickly as possible, hands covering his ears as he kicked up the ground beneath him, scrambling to get away from it.

He sprinted in agony towards the water, his eyes redder than fire as the shrieking persisted as powerfully as ever. Finally, after stumbling to pull himself to a stop, Tai halted abruptly in front of the surf rolling in from the ocean waves. Yet to his utter disbelief, by the time he stood still, the sound was gone...

Completely gone...

 _'Gone...'_

He stared out across the water in bittersweet relief, watching the waves roll back and forth onto shore as they always had. He could hear the ocean's gentle roar again, like he always could. It was as if at some point during his run to the water, his hearing returned, but he couldn't tell exactly when. It was as if he could always hear normally, as if the ringing never existed in the first place...

It didn't make much sense at all. He scrunched up his face and tried to listen in for it again, but now all that was there was the normal rush of the surf and whistling of the wind. As hard as he tried, the blare of the ring just wouldn't return. He looked down at the sand beneath his feet and kicked it out of its place. It made him wonder again if it was ever even there in the first place; maybe all of it was just in his head; some sort of figment of his imagination.

Or maybe he was just delirious from getting up so quickly after he was half-asleep.

He thought for a minute... That was probably the likeliest explanation. The fatigue and dizziness from getting up so abruptly probably made him lose it for a minute. It couldn't really explain the sudden onset of pain or how he became deafened to everything around him, but that was okay.

 _Lying to himself was much easier than confronting the problem anyway._

He slowly walked back to where he'd dropped all of his bags and gently laid back down in the same spot. This time, he checked to make sure he could clearly hear the surf washing up on the beach and the waves rolling in; back, and forth; back, and forth. He breathed the salt air in deeply as he found his comfort spot in the sand once again. Satisfied and assured, he smiled softly to himself and closed his dark brown eyes, slowly relaxing his muscles as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Tai pulled out his cell to check the time as his feet hit concrete once again, leaving the sandy, vacant beach scape behind him after he had just awoken from his slumber. To his surprise, it was already after 2 pm (14:00). He knew he'd slept for quite a while but he didn't realize that he practically slept the whole day away. School was already over and by the time he got back home it would be past 3 o'clock (15:00).

'Whelp, I guess I'm not going to soccer today either.'

He had soccer right after school today with his club team. It was their last practice before the Regional Championship Game tomorrow... They _had_ to win that game. He personally had been training harder than he ever had before, inside and outside of practice, just for that one match. It was against the Tokyo collective club team, the best team not just in the region, but in all of Japan for his age group. His team lost the last time they'd played them by one point in possibly the most exciting game of his life.

He continued his sluggish walk, upset that he missed practice. Even if he tried running to the field, it would've been impossible to get their before it had ended. The field was at least 3 or so miles away, and he was still by the beach, all the way in the other direction. Besides, he had 2 bags on his back too and rush hour in the city was already beginning.

He sighed irritably. Some Captain he was, not even showing up to the most important practice of the season. He pulled out his cell again to look at the 0 messages he'd received while he was absent from school today.

'I guess no one noticed I wasn't there,' he thought dismally to himself.

Whatever. It didn't matter anyway. Matt, Sora, Izzy, TK, and Kari all promised him almost a month ago that they'd be at tomorrow's match, so he'd just have to settle for seeing them then. From what he'd been hearing, practically half the school would be there, which had never happened before considering his team wasn't even associated with the school. It would be the game of a lifetime.

It was 3:30 (15:30) by the time he walked through the door to his family's apartment.

"I'm home," he called out reflexively to an empty house, once again unphased by the echo of his voice being the only sound that greeted him.

He dropped his school and soccer bag on the floor as he pulled off his shoes, shaking off the excess sand that stuck to them before tossing them on the mat just inside the doorway. A dull expression sat stagnantly upon his face as he walked into the living room. He glanced down the hallway and over towards the kitchen, almost hoping that some annoying, overly cheerful face would pop out of one of the rooms and ask him stupid, routine questions about his day.

'I guess even that's too much to ask for,' he thought sarcastically as he stood in the same spot for nearly a minute, still expecting someone to come out to greet him. It seemed he really did miss his mom being around for him after school.

For whatever reason, he continued to stand there and wait for someone, anyone, to show their face through one of the doors. Yet nothing moved; nothing carried any sort of presence in the house but himself. He was alone... again.

Slowly, like the creeping of the tide onto shore, a faint, familiar ringing noise pervaded the silence as a shadow, just on the edges of his perceptions.

' **Not again** '

A rush of dread swept over him. A frigid shiver trickled down his spine. It was the same sound he'd heard from the beach, except this time it carried a presence with it, like it was following him. Fearfully, he opened his ears and listened out specifically for the ring, terrified with the possibility that it would scream inside his ears like before. Terrified with the possibility that it was real, not just a figment conjured up by deliriousness or his imagination.

Seconds passed by in suspense as he stood, paralyzed, reaching out with his perceptions...

A minute passed...

Nothing.

' _Nothing_ '

And yet, despite his efforts, only the sound of stillness in the crude matter of the vacant apartment echoed back into his head.

Still being cautious not to get break the silence, he anxiously treaded over to the kitchen, his feet like a dancer's, nimbly drifting across the floor. It was as if he was being stalked; watched from the shadows; preyed on. As his hand gripped the fridge, he quickly spun his head around, expecting to catch someone behind him.

But again, nothing was there. Just an empty apartment, a vacant home. What a foolish thought. Nobody was following him and nothing was there in the first place. He made the conscious decision to knock off this stupid charade right away. He was not losing it.

 _('Yes you are.')_

He shrugged to himself reassuringly

 _('Liar')_

and opened the fridge. When in doubt, food always made him feel better, no matter what was bothering him. He picked up the bowl of clean carb, whole grain pasta that he'd made for himself this morning before he left for school and frowned. It didn't look as appetizing as he hoped it would.

He knew what he was supposed to eat to perform his best for tomorrow's game, but... He also knew what he wanted to eat and what would make him feel better right now...

...

Within mere seconds he had made his decision. The pasta was shoved back into the fridge and instead a mountain of junk was pulled out in its place.

5 minutes later Tai sat on the couch, accompanied by nearly all of his guilty pleasures. To his right sat a jar of peanut butter, a bowl of ice cream, a jar of Nuttella, a box of Oreos, and a slice of blueberry pie. To his left sat a bag of marshmallows, a container of leftover sweet & sour chicken, a bowl of chili, and half a cake. He picked up his spoon with a bittersweet feeling of cathartic disgust in himself... He was gonna regret this in the morning.

* * *

"Tai, get up, please.."

A small voice spoke sternly in his ear as he felt someone start tugging his arm almost frantically.

"Tai, you need to get up, come on!"

The voice escalated more and more in volume as he felt his body start being pulled off and up from the couch.

 **"Tai! Come on! Now!"**

Finally, he opened his eyes only to see Kari tugging his shirt as hard as she could to try to budge him from his spot. He went along with her movements as he sprung up to his feet, nearly stumbling over the table as he got up.

'Da hell?!'

Seeing stars flying around his field of view, he latched onto Kari to try to maintain any sense of balance. He had gotten up way too fast. His head felt like a lead, expanding balloon, dulling out any perception of where his body hung in space. Hoisting his weight up upon her thin frame was about all he could do to prevent himself from plummeting through six apartment floors, or so it felt that way.

"Tai, don't look at me, just keep moving," she demanded to him, dragging his half-limp body out of the den.

He noted how she was much stronger than she looked.

She could obviously tell he was a bit delirious by the look she kept giving him, silently suggesting something along the lines of, "You're twice my size. Please get off of me." However, she continued tugging him along regardless, gently escorting him out of the living room as he followed her pull, finally starting to regain his balance and footing.

"K-Kari," he stammered, still confused and dazed, but standing on his own two feet, "What's goin' on?! What are you doing?!"

Her face turned to one of desperation and hurt. Sadness and Sorrow. Tai could swear he saw a tear well up in her left eye. He could tell immediately that he wasn't going to like what she was about to tell him.

"Dad's been drinking again and he's gonna be home really soon," she replied distraughtly, "Mom called me to tell us to stay away from him. He's in really bad shape right now."

Tai's heart suddenly dropped into his stomach.

 ** _'Not again...'_**

He began to feel nauseous just thinking about how his father would act when he got home. Ever since his Dad lost his job he'd started drinking heavily and had only been getting worse and worse. His Dad had even become violent on more than one occasion and taken his rage out on his Mom. He didn't want to see what his Dad would be like tonight... A hundred potential scenarios flashed through his head like strobe lights and not one of them seemed good.

"Is Mom okay?!" he responded alarmingly, suddenly realizing that she may be in a whole lot more trouble than they were.

Screams and blood from the past splattered over his focus. Plates dropping, imploding into the floor. His mother dropping like an elevator with its rope cut. Her name cried by his father as he realized what he'd just done. Tai's teeth crunched up against each other in agony, his body cringing in the recollection of times' past.

"She's fine, Tai, just come on!"

Kari beckoned him to move again and again until he finally broke his paralysis and ran with her to the bedroom doors. She rushed into his room and slammed the door just in time for another one to open at the other end of the apartment. They both looked at each other, eyes shot wide open in silent fear.

Neither one of them dared to make a move as they stood, frozen in place like ice cubes; trapped like mice under a cat's paw. Obdurate, irregular footsteps pounded themselves across the floorboards as bellows of joyous rage rung throughout the house. Tai couldn't tell whether the rooms were actually shaking from his father's stumbling or if it was just he and Kari aching in horror.

"Stupid fucking shit, _GET OUT OF MY WAY!_ "

A crash like that of glass or porcelain rung through the house as something smashed into the floorboards. Dad must have hit into something near the doorstep. Suddenly, Kari rushed deep into his arms and, by the time Tai noticed how hard she was grabbing him, his forearm was already wet from her tears.

This was the hardest thing for him to deal with. He could handle getting into fights. He could handle depression. He could handle his own father turning against him. But he couldn't handle seeing Kari hurt like this; no pain cut as deep as seeing her crushed like this.

She was an angel that somehow got trapped in a person's body; he really believed that. Her actions only stood to prove it time and time again. How could he stand idly and watch someone so... So perfect be cut down like this? It'd be like watching as one shattered diamond; blinded a painter; blackened the sun.

He pulled her closer into his chest. A father was supposed to protect and defend his home; his family. Tai sneered furiously towards the doorway in outrage as more howls of intoxicated, maddening cries flooded the room. The fire in his stomach blew steam out of his pores...

He wanted to

 _('Beat the shit out of Dad')_

protect Kari from this so badly. He'd do almost anything to make her oblivious to what was going on. It wasn't fair that she had to endure this as well.

"Tai"

His vexation immediately subsided at the whisper of her voice as he swiftly turned his head to look down towards her, eager to comfort her in any way he could.

"I'm alright, you don't have to worry about me."

She said it thinly, her words wavering back and forth as they came out of her mouth.

He continued to stare at her, his face glowing with compassion and empathy. He noticed how dry her cheeks were now, despite the bloodshot puppy dog eyes that responded to his gaze. Though her face was dry, her words and expression told a different story. She released her grip on him and turned towards the bunk beds, one of which used to be hers. She kept her arms crossed as she adamantly refused to look back in his direction. From the way she was shivering, he could assume she was still crying; at the very least tearing up; it was just that she didn't want _him_ to see it. That was what really killed him. Even at her most vulnerable, she still didn't want him to worry about her. She was still thinking of others rather than herself.

He felt like he should be able to do something, anything, just to try to alleviate her pain somehow...

"WHO THE FUCK LEFT ALL THESE DISHES OUT!? NOBODY CLEANS FOR SHIT AROUND HERE!"

But he couldn't. In the moment he was powerless; trapped. Everything around him was out of control. His friends. His family. His life. He never wanted to feel this weak ever again.

His heart throbbed in angst. A giant lump formed in his throat, threatening to pop out of his neck. He couldn't tell if he was about to throw a fit of rage or finally cry after holding it in all these years.

Kari's hair continued to mask her face as she lay her hand on the ladder to the upper bunk. Her posture hung over like an old woman, too fragile to stand straight on her feet.

"Tai," she mumbled, her voice falling down to a hush whisper, "Is it okay if-"

"Yeah..." he replied weakly, his voice trailing off as quickly as hers did. He could feel the empty sorrow suffocating the room like a blanket, even so much as to drown out the senseless curses and shouts still echoing throughout the apartment. Neither he nor Kari had any desire to say a word, only try to completely remove themselves from reality.

He shut the lights, part of him hoping that the darkness of the room would keep them masked from their father's attention until morning arrived; they would be safe then. He lifted up his blankets and tucked himself into bed, facing the blank, empty wall rather than the open room. He didn't want to see anything. He didn't want to hear anything. He just wanted it all to disappear.

 _And for the first time all day, it felt like it was impossible to get to sleep..._

* * *

And that's Chapter 2- things are really kicking up a knotch and I hope people are catching on to that something doesn't seem right with Tai right now.

If any of you watched the Japanese sub version of Digimon the Movie there's a very brief scene of Tai and Kari's Dad (while they're young) returning home late at night while under the influence. This is where I got the inspiration for their father having serious issues when it comes to controlling his alcohol consumption. Also, it's something that puts Tai under an even greater amount of stress in his personal life.

Anyway, Fav, Follow, and Review and feel free to PM me about anything! Also, check my profile as I update it to show how far along I am in my writing. Chapter 3 is gonna be insane and then things will calm down for a while, but be prepared...


	3. Birthday: Part 1

Hi everyone, sorry for the long wait. I expected to have this done over Christmas Break but I didn't quite finish it and then school started up again. My Uni is freaking insane between workload and going out so I usually only have time to write over breaks (I'm on my Spring Break right now). If I can, I'll try to write during the semesters but I can't really make any promises, grades have to come first :).

Also, how amazing was Tri Reunion? I cannot wait for the next one coming out in 7 DAYS! Hope you guys are anywhere near as excited as I am!

Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

 **He's Gone**

 **Chapter 3**

 **Birthday: Part 1**

March 22nd

Tai reached out his hand from beneath his sheets to turn his clock towards him - it was already noon. As late as it was, he was surprised that he was even up by then. He hadn't gotten to sleep until almost 4 in the morning thanks to Dad's drunken hysterics.

He pulled himself up into a sitting position on the bed, whipping hair out of his face as he erected his back. Now consciously feeling his shirt, he became aware of how wet he was. The moisture clung to him like a sponge, not soaked but certainly uncomfortably moist. He must've been in a cold sweat the whole night. He immediately felt gross and took off his clothes, only stopping himself when he remembered that Kari may still be in the bedroom after sleeping there last night.

Keeping his shorts on, he climbed out of the covers and looked over towards the upper bunk bed, but Kari wasn't there. In fact, extending his awareness out to the rest of the apartment, it didn't sound like anyone was there at the moment. Again, only the hum of silence rang throughout the rooms.

The sun shone through the window and reflected across his bedroom, warming his face as he momentarily gazed out into the light. It looked like a perfect day for a soccer match, perhaps _the biggest_ soccer match of his life. He prayed his team could win this game; it meant everything to him. They'd worked so hard all year just to get to this point, and now they finally had the opportunity to dethrone the Tokyo Collective. And besides, it being his birthday today certainly couldn't hurt their luck.

Eager with anticipation, he sprung over to his drawers and pulled his uniform out, throwing his clothes, shin guards, and socks across the floor. He knew he should take a shower after sleeping in a pool of sweat last night, but he decided not to. He was just gonna get dirty again during the game today so it would be a waste of time. That's something Mom would tell him to do, take a shower just before going out and getting soiled again almost immediately. Tai swore sometimes Mom did and said the most illogical thing. Besides, taking showers were often a nuisance to him, they always messed up his hair.

After getting in his uniform and gathering his gear, he walked towards the living room, glancing through every doorway as he strolled down the hall, expecting to find _at least_ one person home. Yet despite his efforts, it became clear that he was completely alone.

Something inside of him shriveled up despairingly, causing a small, heaving pain in his chest. Did they forget what day it was? Were they just ignorant? Apathetic?

He frowned to himself as he stood in vacant space, soccer bag limp in his hand, his grasp growing weaker by the second. Energy felt like it was slowly draining from his body like molasses. If they weren't even here, that meant that nobody was even going to his game...

...

Suddenly he didn't want to play so badly anymore...

Begrudgingly, after a few minutes of emptily staring into space, he reached to his right for a banana and walked out the door down the exterior corridor of his apartment building. His eyeballs drifted to their right corners as he caught a peripheral glimpse of the scenery without turning his head from its slightly downward facing position. On just the very perimeter of the skyline he could make out very dark clouds just coasting about the horizon. They seemed to extend across the border of his entire field of view, from the bay all the way to the mainland. It was almost as if they were trapping him in this great circle of sunlight and clear skies, like he was in the eye of a storm, only able to perceive what was to come from the core of it.

He made it downstairs to the apartment entrance and took to the streets without a jacket (as usual). He could already hear the "Jacket" lecture from Mom in his head and rolled his eyes. Although, it was actually an awfully chilly day despite how sunny out it was at the moment. It would be quite a walk to the field. He was supposed to be driven until suddenly his parents (and Kari) 'spontaneously decided' to be MIA today.

...He just hoped that everyone's absence didn't have anything to do with his father's behavior last night...

Immediately he tried shaking the thought from his head. There was no way that was the case, it was stupid of him to even consider it. He thought about what Mom would tell him about thinking bad things like that. She always said that bad thoughts and dreams couldn't hurt him as long as he could recognize that that's all they were, ideas and not reality. He had a lot of horrible things pop into his head from time to time. The kind of thoughts or images that just hit you out of nowhere, like where you're just sitting in class and _Boom,_ you imagine yourself shoving your pen down the esophagus of the girl in the next chair, or what would happen if you just took all your clothes off and started running all over the place. Obviously he would never act upon these things because they're just random ideas that jump into his head, but they still could bring him a lot of anxiety at times.

Since nobody was around to drive him as originally planned, there was nothing he _could_ do but make the long, arduous walk over to the soccer field. He tried changing his mindset along the way to think about the match, about his team, and what he needed to do to play his best, but strangely enough, he couldn't focus on anything relevant for some reason. His mind drifted and wandered all over the place. A continuous stream of unrelated thoughts flowed about his mind like a current, flowing more and more rapidly the closer he got to the pitch. He found his mind beginning to race, the current in the stream picking up and becoming more and more untamed by the minute. Daydreaming began to turn into stress. Stress turned into anxiety.

A bead of sweat trickled across and down his forehead and he just noticed how briskly he'd been walking for the last couple of blocks, like he was jacked up on caffeine or something.

It was unlike him to be so anxious and tense about a soccer match or anything for that matter. Of course this game was huge, but still... He'd never been this shaky before. The funny thing was that he didn't think he actually _was_ nervous at all for the game itself. Something else was causing his mind to stir, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it...

The storm clouds closed in over the horizon.

* * *

He was running as fast as he could. He couldn't believe he'd lost track of time on his way over. He'd gotten so lost in thought that by the time he realized how slow he was walking it was much too late for him to make it to the game on time.

His heart pounded a thousand beats per minute in his chest as his throat swelled up, nearly holding back tears of anxiety.

'This can't be happening, it absolutely _can't!_ '

His black cleats pounded against the cold pavement while his eyes darted every which way in front of him, instantaneously calculating the quickest course through the moving human obstacles obstructing him. Gray coast and black briefcases grazed his figure as he shot like a projectile about pedestrians, only managing to plow into a small handful of them.

Finally, after what felt like a 2 mile sprint, he made it to the stadium. A feint grimace of terrified relief appeared on his face as he wiped the chilled sweat off of his forehead. He couldn't be sure if he was thankful that he finally reached the field or cowering at the reaction that awaited his untimely appearance only seconds away.

What would his coach say? His teammates? His parents (assuming they might actually attend the most important fucking game of his life)? So many people from school were there too, including his friends who promised to come (again, assuming they actually decided to show up). How could he, the team captain, nonchalantly walk in late to a match of this caliber in front of everyone he'd known his whole life? He was supposed to be there nearly a half hour ago, just like everyone else. Some of his teammates were planning on getting there _hours_ before just to keep themselves fresh the whole day.

He stopped for a second.

He could just turn around _right now._ He could make a run for it - Pretend to be deathly ill - Not show up and leave everyone guessing. He could save himself from the shame, from the humiliation, from everything that lay in front of him.

No matter how many times he wiped his forehead, more and more sweat, colder than ice, streamed down his face. His stomach felt like it was actually screaming he was so torn on what to do. However, his body had already made the choice for him. His legs had swept him back up from below and now pushed him closer and closer to the stadium. He was sick with fear, like he was walking towards his own death without being able to control his own body. He tried stopping his legs, tried turning around, but despite his efforts nothing was working. Courage was so programmed into his very core that his body refused to cooperate with his mind, keeping him trudging forward regardless of how afraid he was.

...

And within a few more seconds, he was there...

...

And he immediately realized that he made the wrong choice.

* * *

When I think back to the events of that day and everything that occurred, I feel as if somehow I knew all of this was going to happen; like my sanity was already hanging by a thread in which I knew it was only a matter of time before it snapped. I often wonder what my life would be like today if I didn't make the choice that I made, if for once in my life, I gave into my fears and just ran; ran away from all of the problems that hounded me. Maybe things would be different now had I done that...

But I was always the brave kid, the one that never gave up or gave in, and that trait persisted then as it still does now. I guess I should be thankful for my courage, considering how much it helped me during that time. It's just that I still can't help but beg the question "What if?"

Maybe conflict would've found me one way or another, I guess I'll never really know. All I do know is that it all began on that day. In that moment. In _that_ decision. On possibly the worst day of my life.

And nothing has been the same ever since.

* * *

The stadium was dead silent.

He gulped as more cold sweat poured down the hairs on the back of his neck. He had never seen an audience this big in his entire life. Trying as hard as he could to avoid being spotted, he kept his head down as the whole crowd came into view.

'Just keep walking. Don't look at them, don't make any noticeable movements. Don't give them any reason to acknowledge you.'

He walked briskly, almost frantically, with his head down and hands by his sides. Though avoiding meeting anyone's gaze, he could still hear a wave of disturbance begin to echo through the audience. Panic sheared down his spine like a knife - he knew he'd already been spotted. Within seconds of his arrival, an anxious hush fell over the masses like a blanket had smothered their shouts and cheers.

He couldn't endure shielding his eyes from what was going any longer. He already knew it was all over, there was no pint in trying to hide or be inconspicuous anymore. Before he could think, his head abruptly shot into an upwards position to see what was going on and he couldn't believe what lay before him.

Time itself appeared to have stopped before his very eyes, almost tempting him to reach his hand out in front of him just to be certain that he wasn't looking at a frozen screen. His swift walk staggered and halted to a slow unsteady drag across the turf. He was the only thing in motion in the entire stadium now... Not just the audience, but the players on both sides had stopped to see what was going on, completely halting the continuation of the game. Silence encompassed the arena as only muffled gasps of every nature responded to his startled look.

Hundreds of eyes and faces beamed down at him, not a one wearing the same expression on it. He realized the play had been stopped just before he walked in, making his entrance even more dramatic than it already was.

A 30 second walk down the field to his bench felt like it took hours.

He had never felt so insecure, so judged, so _**hated**_ by the people around him in his life. His lip quivered as his body stood shaking and trembling. Every icy stare was another blade through his skull. The worst part was that so many of these people knew him: familiar faces, peers from school, adults from his neighborhood, people who liked him, who thought the best of him, they all looked down in disappointment and shame. He even spotted one of his teachers shaking his head pitifully, trying to avoid meeting him in the eyes.

And yet within a few seconds later, the Tokyo fans were going crazy. People from the opposing side were in hysterics at him, pointing at his captain's band and cheering louder than any crowd he'd ever heard before. They were screaming _his name_ , mocking him, hooting and hollering. Teenagers at the top of the stands were banging drums and instruments, firing off blow horns and pounding their feet on the metal bleachers like they were about to stampede. Ones near the bottom leaned over and reached out at him laughing, inches away from pulling at his jersey as he tried to keep away from them. A couple of guys spit right past his face as another threw a half-finished drink at him, landing right in front of him and splattering clear liquid all over his socks.

 ** _"KA-MI-YA! KA-MI-YA! KA-MI-YA!"_**

He felt like he was about to burst. Were those tears or sweat in his eyes? He couldn't even tell anymore. He tried to numb everything and everyone out from around him and just keep walking. Keep walking as chaos erupted around him, as objects flew past his head, as everyone he knew watched him turn from captain into a laughingstock.

"Kamiya, get the **_fuck_** over here you son of a bitch."

Coach had already thrown and smashed his clipboard before he could even reach him.

" _What the fuck is wrong with you?!_ First you don't show up to the most important practice of the season and now you have the _**g**_ _ **oddamn audacity**_ to come late to the BIGGEST FUCKING GAME of this team's entire history?! NO PHONE CALL?! NO WARNING?! NOTHING?!"

Everyone in the stands and on the field could hear every word Coach was screaming. And yet still, he could tell that no one had moved an inch. Nobody had any interest in doing anything but watching the man ruin his entire reputation in a matter of 2 minutes.

"No, I-"

"NO WHAT?! WHAT, WERE YOU TOO BUSY JERKING YOURSELF OFF?! DO YOU EVEN _**WANT**_ TO BE HERE?! DOE THIS TEAM MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU OR IS ALL OF THIS JUST SOME BIG FUCKING JOKE?!"

"Yo-"

"You disgust me, Kamiya. I don't even want to fucking **_look_** at you."

Tai felt like he couldn't move. There was nothing he could say, nothing he could do to mitigate how bad this was. His nails tore through the flesh on his palms as he dragged them across with his hysterical, trembling grip. He just stared at Coach maniacally, wishing hundreds of times over that he could just die at the spot.

"GO SIT DOWN!" he spat in fury as he spun his head back towards him, leaning in so close that Tai could taste the grotesque, rotting smell pouring out of his mouth.

"AND GIVE ME THAT," he commanded as he jabbed his finger into the golden captain's band that wrapped around Tai's left arm. Before he could even try to defend himself, the man's hands wrapped around his arm and ripped it off of his body so hard it almost set him off balance.

"Now get out of my sight."

* * *

It was 35 minutes into the second half and still nobody had spoken to him. Even at halftime he was just gestured to stay on the bench while all of his teammates went to the corner flag for a congregation. The whole ten minute break he'd sat there by himself with the crowd right behind him, receiving yet another 'well deserved' standing ovation and chant from the Tokyo fans.

A huge storm had just rolled in a few minutes ago, probably the one that looked like it was coming over the horizon when he'd first left his apartment. He should've seen it as a warning and never walked out the door this morning. Everything was utterly drenched as freezing gales whipped across the turf and bitter raindrops pelted everyone in the stadium. His teammates were out battling for their lives in these horrendous conditions while he just slowly froze to death, humiliated, stripped of his reputation, and alone.

About a 10 foot gap sat between him and his teammates on the bench. When he first sat down they all moved and slid away from him, only to isolate him even more than before. All of the boys huddled up next to each other under blankets and sweatshirts, grabbing one another for warmth as they screamed and leaped up and down cheering for their mates battling it out on the field. Downpour like tears of passion and ecstasy poured down their faces as every minor victory for the ball was celebrated like they had just escaped death row, howling with catharsis as they jumped into each others' arms time and time again. He sat in his T-shirt and shorts on the other end, watching freezing rain drops slowly drip off of his nose, sapping a little more heat from his body each time. Guys he'd been playing with his entire life had turned their back on him in a matter of moments. Or maybe _he_ was the one who turned his back _on them_ like everyone was suggesting; he wasn't confident enough to even defend his own self-righteous thoughts at this point.

None of them even gave him so much as a passing glance when they would sprint up the sidelines to warm up for getting into the game. It was like he was completely non-existent to everyone but the Tokyo fans, who still remembered to throw a spare object or food item his way every few minutes. As far as the match was going, Odaiba was only down by one goal and it didn't at all seem like any one team had a noticeable advantage in the play. He couldn't recall a time where a team had pushed Tokyo this close to their limits... Not that he'd really been watching much of it anyway. He didn't think he had looked up from his cleats for the past 30 minutes. He just sat there, trembling, his hair soaked like a wet mop, begging like a sick animal to be put out of its misery.

* * *

Whelp, only about a minute was left at this point, and the score hadn't changed since the end of the first half. His expectations of going in at this point were slim to none until, out of nowhere, a big, wet hand suddenly grasped his left shoulder, almost making him jump out of his seat. He quickly looked up to see Coach's face glaring down at him. Reflexively, he winced, anticipating another verbal beating until he saw the man gesture him over to the midfield line to go in.

 _'To go in.'_

He was so numb and anxious that he'd almost forgotten how to move. He couldn't fathom it, even after all of that he was being given a chance to redeem himself, maybe even save the game. He could turn _everything_ around for himself if he could score just one goal to tie it up. His reputation, his teammates, the audience; they would all be redeemed if he could just pull it off. Coach gave him one more nod and he finally stood up again after all this time.

Within seconds of getting up, all eyes were glued back on him as he slowly and warily approached the midfield line. Everything felt surreal and blurry again, leaving him barely able to concentrate on the conglomerate of activity arising around the stadium: heads turning, players stopping to stare, boos beginning to erupt from the Tokyo fans, while an unwary silence returned to overwhelm the Odaiba side. All of the cheers and excitement from his side sunk like a stone in water, falling to merely a few hushed whispers in a matter of seconds as opposed to the not-so-subtle wave of anger that swept across the Tokyo fans. He felt like he was treading on the edge of a cliff face, on false move and he would be sent tumbling down to his demise. As he passed his teammates he could feel their ephemeral acknowledgement clawing him from behind his back. Still though, he couldn't be sure whether they were wishing him luck or continuing to curse him under their breath.

When he reached the mid-line, he closed his eyes for just a second to recollect himself and his nerves. He could feel the tension and shivering unsteadily drain from his body as he fought to alleviate the anxiety that gripped him by the throat. Though trying to remain as placid as humanly possible, he couldn't shake his mind from racing at a mile a minute, anticipating every grueling millisecond before the whistle blew.

 _"BRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT!"_

Before he could even blink he was off, his legs driving him forward without any conscious consent from his brain. As he looked up from the turf crunching beneath his cleats he was astounded to realize he'd already gone halfway across the pitch. Blurred, wet figures watched him as he passed by, still unable to focus on the bombardment of attention directed his way. Within a few moments, he was up in his striker position, only able to take a halfhearted breath before-

 _"BRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT!"_

'Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck'

It was the only thing he could think of.

The ball soared through the air over on the other side of the field near his team's defense. Unsteady adrenaline coursed through his veins as he stood near the midfield line, knowing that he should stay put but wanting desperately to run into his end to aid the defense. He had so much pent up stress and energy pulsing through his body that it felt like he had to practically tie a rope around his neck to restrain himself.

Rain was pouring harder than ever now. It was so heavy that just seeing the play across the pitch was becoming more and more of a problem. It was so blurry that it seemed like it was lagging a second behind actual time.

He anxiously darted back and forth parallel to the midfield line, constantly trying to signal his teammates to pass to his near wide-open position up the pitch. However, time was quickly running thin and didn't look like the defense was having much success getting the ball out of their own end. Bodies and outcries furiously exchanged blows in the back as the ball flew from side to side. Both teams were incessant, throwing themselves at one another through the storm at blinding speeds, doing absolutely anything to win the ball. This was it. Any instant of relenting from either side would be swiftly punished with a certain victory for the opponents.

But then, finally, he spotted an opening in the play near his back line. The ball bounced rapidly back to his center back, who, from what he could make out, had him directly in his line of sight, looking right in his direction. Immediately, he pivoted a full 180 degrees and kicked his body into high gear, blasting off up front past Tokyo's defenders who were just now catching on to what was about to happen. It was no use though - once he took off nobody could ever keep up with his speed.

Without looking back, he heard the ball boot up the field, whizzing through the raindrops behind his head. He'd never felt so fast in his entire life, every ounce of his being felt like it was moving at light speed, or as if he was weightlessly flying across the pitch. The ball jumped right in front of his trajectory, perfectly in place for him to sweep it up beneath his feet and head straight for the goal.

Almost nothing stood in his way. There lay about 20 yards of green between he and the goalie, and just behind that, the goal. The goalie was way out of position, still about 5 yards outside of the 18 yard box even though he was quickly jogging backwards back into his zone. Horrified, frantic shrieks and blood curdling curses screamed out around him from the Tokyo players and fans in the stands.

The Odaiba side was going just as nuts as the others. Finally his teammates on the sidelines as well as his coaches had acknowledged his presence, pounding their feet and springing up and down as they very nearly cried out in tears for him. The last time he'd checked, there was only 25 seconds left on the clock - there was no time to lose.

He was now only inches outside the 18 box, still racing forward at full speed as the goalie approached him, hesitantly anticipated his movements. With a simple sweep of his left foot, he gracefully pulled the ball past the goalie's right side, leaving him scrambling across the turf, shrieking in desperation to claim the ball that would've secured Tokyo's victory.

Now it was just him and an empty net sitting in front of him. He had done it, he'd saved the day and gained back the respect he'd lost. A small smile of security spread across his face.

'Happy Birthday Tai," he thought to himself, his grin growing larger and larger as he lightly wound up his leg to score a goal a 3 year old could pull off.

Something was standing behind the goal waving at him, he'd just noticed out of nowhere. Unconscious of where exactly he was or what he was doing anymore, he looked over towards it curiously. His eyes followed the trail through the raindrops to make out the faces of...

'Mom,

Dad,

Kari,

Matt,

TK,

Izzy,

Sora'

They were all jumping up and down with umbrellas in hand, waving to him, shouting his name. He couldn't believe it, he didn't think any of them had come! He thought all of them had forgotten about him...

"Shoot!" cried his Dad, gazing into his own eyes with pride, the eyes passed on from father to son.

Mom held onto his shoulder with the same ecstatic look while Kari stood on the other side, gripping his hand as she jumped again and again into the air. It looked like everyone had made up from the chaos last night; he was so relieved.

He knew now that everything was gonna be OK. A feeling of his former glory seeped into his blood like adrenaline, as if it were telling him this was exactly where he was supposed to be. It hadn't been since his days in the Digital World that he'd felt this sense of belonging and security. He could feel an even greater smile break across his face as everyone's faces beamed back at him. Now, he could rea-

...

...

...

...

...

...

Everything was black.

...

...

His eyes were on fire.

...

...

Everything hurt.

...

...

They were the only observations he could make. He scraped the slashed skin on his face across the turf as he dragged it into an upward position from the ground he lay impounded on. He couldn't tell if everything had actually gone silent or if it was just the blaring ringing in his head suffocating any sound...

...

Suddenly he came back down to Earth, awakened from his delirium, and shot his head up into the air, still weighed down by the half of his body lying limply on the ground. He tried opening his eyes only to see everything violently twisting around, blurred out completely by the water and black turf that stagnantly clung to his cornea like leeches, sharply cutting his eyeballs with every slight movement. Grunting in pain, he frenziedly clawed out the debris from his eyes and spun back around, trying not to fall off balance from the dizziness that was gradually wearing off. Immediately, his piercing red eyes darted over to the goal mouth to see if...

 _ **'WHERE'D THE BALL GO?!'**_

Now he was trembling in alarm, panic seething through his face hotter than a hundred atomic bombs, it couldn't be happening, _it couldn't be happening,_ _IT COULDN'T BE HAPPENING._

THERE WAS NOTHING IN THE NET HE COULDN'T BELIEVE IT NOTHING NOTHING AT ALL HE DIDN'T GET IT THAT SIMPLE FUCKING GOAL THAT FUCKING GOAL A 2 YEAR OLD COULD DO HE MISSED HE FUCKING TRIPPED NO NO NO NO NO NO

THIS WAS **_IMPOSSIBLE_** THIS COULDN'T BE HAPPENING WHAT THE FUCK _**NO**_

 _'I TRIPPED I MISSED I FUCKING MISSED HOW WHY NO STOP_ **_IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!'_**

The crowd erupted into a cheering uproar unlike he'd ever heard before in his life. Shrieks of joy tore the silence in half like paper as Tokyo's fans physically exploded into a riot of laughter and elation, pounding their feet so hard against the stands that it sounded like a stampede.

 ** _"BRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT!"_**

The final whistle blared in his ears, momentarily overpowering the deafening roar emanating from the stands. 2 to 1; it was over.

He couldn't move at all. Every remaining ounce of his strength was being used to hold his chest and neck upright while he stared through the holes in the goal net. His entire body shook treacherously as he gaped in horror at the lack of any presence behind the field where his family and friends were.

Where were Mom, Dad, Kari?

A bolt of fear like lightning cut through his spine like melted butter.

Where were his friends?

His hands trembled as they tried to hold his body up off the ground, sickly weak from psychological torment and shock. He couldn't force himself to ask that one lingering question out of fear of confronting the truth... Was anybody ever even there at all?

 _'Am I losing my mind?!'  
_

No matter where he looked, it was clear as day that **_nobody_** was anywhere even remotely close to where he saw them.

 _ **"KA-MI-YA! KA-MI-YA! KA-MI-YA!"**_

He felt like the air had been ripped from his lungs as he staggered back over to the bench. His teammates were so hot that the rain practically vaporized once it touched their skin. He could hear them cursing him blatantly now;

 _"How could he miss such an easy fucking goal?!"_

 _"Coach should've never put him in, he clearly doesn't give a shit about the team anymore."_

 _"HE PROBABLY TRIPPED ON PURPOSE! HOW DO YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT WHEN YOU'RE BARELY MOVING 5 FEET AWAY FROM THE GOAL?!"_

He was just too weak... To argue... Or do anything at all. He even _agreed_ with them. He'd be saying the same exact thing if he was in their position. He wanted them to _hurt_ him, to make him feel like the worthless piece of garbage that he was...

He didn't line up to shake hands with everyone else, just returned to the same spot on the bench where he had sat the whole game and should've stayed. He pretended nothing was around him to try to preserve his sanity, just blacking out everything and keeping his head down and eyes shut.

Minute by minute, the background noise dwindled down and the stadium cleared out. Neither his teammates nor his coaches acknowledged or said a word to him as he heard them leaving to go back home. Freezing rain continued to flow down the back of his neck and through his clothes. He almost wished he had someone to talk to; someone to come up with open arms and tell him everything would be okay, tell him that tomorrow would be a better day. But not even his family was there, let alone his friends. He had nobody. He could feel his eyes begin to well up... He couldn't even remember the last time he'd even shed a tear.

He finally lifted his head to look up after probably almost an hour to see that there was not another soul in the entire arena anymore. He was really all alone.

He _actually_ had nobody...

And for possibly the first time in his life, he truly hated himself, and just wanted to die...

* * *

.

* * *

Well... That was slightly depressing. Believe it or not, this was a very difficult chapter to write. Trying to put someone's heart wrenching emotions on page and convey them properly to an audience was something that was really time consuming. Also, with the lack of abundant dialogue over the past chapters it makes it all the more difficult, it's like trying to put the reader in Tai's mind, which was what I was going for. Hopefully you guys can kind of see the things he thinks about and the types of thoughts that are constantly cycling through his head (certainly not all good ones!).

Also, as a side note I've played very high level competitive soccer (Regional Premiere :) ) my whole life and I swear to you that practically everything regarding the fans and coaches I've seen and/or experienced while playing... Shit gets absolutely insane at times, so this (surprisingly) isn't even an exaggeration of what can and does happen.

Anyway, thanks for reading and Follow/Fav/Review please!


	4. Birthday: Part 2

7/12/16

Hi everyone, it's been a little while! I just finished my first year of uni a little over a month ago so I was able to get down to some writing. I'd like to have another chapter out before the end of the summer, but the only problem is, I don't know exactly where the story should go at this exact point. I know where it all leads up to and what will be happening in the future, but after this chapter, I'm gonna have to get down to some thinking regarding how to get from point A to point B.

The one thing I do know is that this is the last super intense chapter for a bit; I've found myself emotionally exhausted just writing these chapters!

Regardless, please enjoy!

* * *

 **He's Gone**

 **Chapter 4**

 **Birthday: Part 2**

Tai quietly opened the door and stepped into his apartment, raindrops gliding off his drenched body onto the doorstep. Thunder and lightning crackled in the distance behind him as he walked in. The rain hadn't eased up at all since the game ended.

It was almost 7 PM now and despite how cold it was outside, it didn't effect him at all during the long walk back; his skin had gone numb hours ago.

When he got in, he realized immediately how dark it was inside.

It still seemed like nobody was home. He couldn't understand where any of his family could possibly be at this point. As if it weren't strange enough that they'd randomly vanished before he woke up, they'd also missed the most important soccer game of his life (including failing to drive him there like they were supposed to), and were still without a trace now at nighttime.

He didn't care though... He didn't care about anything anymore after everything that had happened.

He sighed...

Tears and anger weren't going to solve his problems now. It felt like nothing in the world could make up for losing it all in the matter of a few hours. The only thing he wanted to do was vanish from the face of the earth for a while. In that aspect, he was relieved that nobody was home. In fact, he hoped they didn't come back tomorrow either so he didn't have to see their stupid faces and have a confrontation about everything that had happened. He didn't need to be infuriated any more than he already was.

And, as if on a cue, all of the lights in the apartment suddenly blasted on, glaring in his face as he shielded his eyes. His heart sank to where his stomach should be as three voices sounding extremely forced called out to him from behind the blinding light.

"Happy Birthday Tai!"

It took one look at their faces to recognize that something was wrong. Kari and Mom looked like they'd just doused their eyes with vinegar. Even now, their pupils were wrinkled and red like they were holding back tears. Dad had never looked so drained in his entire life. Both of his arms sat limply on the table, holding just enough strength to keep his head and neck erect.

He wanted to immediately lash out at them for ditching him today but he tied his anger to a leash and tried to keep it down. From the looks of it, they were having almost as poor of a day as he was.

"Thanks," he replied, wincing. He probably sounded as forced as they did with their "Happy Birthday."

He sullenly walked over to the empty chair and sat down, letting his face droop down into his hands which rested about a foot above the table top. A giant pink and white cake sat right in front of him in the middle of everyone. It had one of those cake photos on the top, just below the words "Happy Birthday Tai!" written in icing. The photo was of him as a little kid, maybe about 5 or 6, with his typical orange-starred, blue T-shirt, a toothy grin, and a peace sign held out in front of him. A weak, bittersweet smile came to his face. He looked up from his hands at the 3 people sitting around him and realized how much things had really changed from those happy times in the past. His parents had aged drastically from then, he and Kari had grown up... They were no longer sheltered and put inside a bubble, protected from the chaotic world around them. The nostalgia cut his heart like a knife, letting his blood splatter all over the floor.

"Do you want the first piece, honey?" Mom weakly asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"Sure," he replied in a similar manner, trying to keep up the illusion that everything was fine.

"What happened in the match today, champ?"

 _'Ugh,'_ he spat in his head, inadvertently rolling his eyes. He didn't want to get angry, he really didn't. But even more so he didn't want to discuss the game. He wanted it all to just go away and be like it never even happened. And most of all he didn't want to be referred to as "champ." He clenched his fork anxiously as he tried again to prevent all of the memories and emotions of today from bubbling back up into his consciousness.

"We lost," he replied flatly, trying to not-so-subtly suggest that he didn't wanna talk about it.

To put it simply, Dad didn't take the hint.

"Whelp; that really sucks."

 _'No, it doesn't just *suck* you arrogant prick.'_

The way he said it only served to infuriate him even more. It was so apathetic and heartless, as if the man was trying to make clear that he thought that this match, which meant the world to Tai, was meaningless and completely unimportant.

"Where the hell were you guys today?!" he blurted out suddenly, startling all of them, including himself. Kari stopped what she was doing immediately and stared wide-eyed at him. Mom did the same as Dad slowly raised his eyes from the table towards him, and then towards Mom, as if to signal something. He didn't mean to sound as forceful as he did or say "hell," especially in front of his family, but it just came out of nowhere. His mouth, as usual, seemed to have a mind of its own.

He didn't want to start shit at now of all times while everyone was so drained, most of all himself, but not knowing felt like leaving a wound completely untreated.

"Don't worry about it," Dad replied back adamantly, not remotely in a reassuring way, shooting a piercing glare back into his own eyes. Sweat poured through his grip around the fork as his anger began to bleed itself onto his face.

"You guys completely just b-"

"I **_just_** said, it is _none_ of your concern," he snapped ferociously.

Tai could feel Kari's eyes tugging at him from the back of his head, begging him to stop before things escalated even further. But there was no way she could possibly understand what had happened today or what had been going through his head for the past few weeks. Neither could Mom and Dad. It wasn't fair or right that they could just _fuck_ him over and not even explain themselves or give any reason whatsoever for their absence.

Flashes of the hysterical faces of the crowds, the sneers of his teammates, the illusion of his friends and family behind the fence; the wince-inducing memories kept rolling through his head like a camera reel. It was physically painful just to have his mind dwell on it. It felt like someone was plunging a knife through the back of his neck without warning every time one of those bad thoughts came through. The thoughts were relentless; and he knew they wouldn't stop until he either cracked or overcame them.

And they were the _only_ thing that had been coming through for the past few hours.

As much as he hated to admit it, he really needed his family's help today, probably more than ever before.

The tension in the air didn't waver as everyone silently anticipated his response. As much as he wanted to retaliate, he quietly retreated his glare back down towards the table, doing it almost solely to not upset Kari.

Mom set a piece of cake down in front of him, giving him a rub on the back of the head as she went to sit down.

"Sorry we didn't get out any candles, hon," she said with a dreary smile, trying to change the subject, "We'll give you an extra 18 on next years' cake, ok?"

He smiled back weakly, and nodded back without a word.

"So Tai," Kari began with a similar degree of uncertainty in her tone, "What happened in your soccer game?"

"I already told you," he answered gloomily, mashing his cake discontentedly with his fork, "We lost."

She frowned at his response.

"... Did it go _that_ badly..?"

"Yeah..." he said, easing his tone towards her. Something told him that if she could have been there today she would have.

"I'm really sorry tha-" she began, only to be interrupted.

"Hahahaha," Dad began snickering obnoxiously, "How bad could it have been? What'd you do, kiddo, score an own goal or somethin'?!"

 _"No."_ he muttered back defiantly, trying to make his response sound sharper than a knife.

At this point he was approaching going ballistic. He was finding it harder and harder to believe that the man was just joking around and not trying to make him feel worse than he already did...

"Then I'm sure it wasn't _annnyyything_ so bad. You just tend to exaggerate things a bit. I'm sure you did fine."

Tai could swear his face was hotter than fire by now. Mom and Kari seemed to notice too; every second that passed by they appeared more and more terrified that he was going to explode at any second.

"Well I'm **_not_**."

"Not what?"

 _ **"Not." "Exaggerating."**_

Nobody spoke for almost a minute as he continued to stare down at the untouched cake beneath him, the cool icing beginning to bleed all over the cake. He wanted to throw the stupid thing across the table.

"It would've been nice for you guys to show up for the most important game of my life," he finally said sharply, looking each one of them individually in the eyes.

"I already told you. _**Drop it.**_ "

He couldn't take it anymore. He was only able to hold it in for 5 seconds before jumping out of his chair, sending it skittering backwards as the metal screeched and clattered across the kitchen tile.

 _"I have a **right** to know!"_ he cried out, exasperated and enraged that he still wasn't getting any answers.

They all just stared at him, wide-eyed and shocked, but, to his astonishment, he couldn't find any trace of retaliation or anger back from any of the three of them. They just looked... hurt, and maybe confused as well.

But still, _Nobody Would Say A Goddamn Thing!_

He slammed his fist down on the table, sending half of the utensils and napkins tumbling down to the floor with a series of crashes that ripped through the silence.

" **None of you have any fucking idea what happened today!"**

Nothing.

 _ **"I need to- n-no, I DESERVE to know where the fucking hell everyone w-was why N-NONE of you could freaking show u-up!"**_

Still nothing.

Kari and Mom had tears in their eyes. He had tears in his eyes. Everything was coming out. His throat felt like it was carrying 100 pounds in it; he could feel himself choking up and sputtering up his words like vomit; he could barely breathe. Everyone was just looking at him, watching him lose his fucking shit right in front of him.

 _ **"DAAMNN ITT!"**_ he roared, again slamming his fist on the table, this time much harder than the first time.

Kari practically yelped as she sprung back deeper into her chair, seemingly too broken to do or say anything but hide her face beneath her hands.

 _ **"WHY WON'T ANYONE SAY ANYTHING?!"**_

"T-Tai..." Mom replied weakly, barely able to push the words past her lips, "We d-don't want to r-ruin your d-day..."

She was shaking almost violently now, trying to make some sort of gesture for him to sit back down.

 _ **"RUIN MY DAY?!"**_ he cried out, practically spitting in her face. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Everything had already been ruined - how could they not see that?!

 _ **"YOU THINK SOME STUPID CAKE AND EVERYONE PRETENDING NOTHING'S WRONG IS GOING TO FIX ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED TODAY?!"**_

"I- -" she sputtered back unintelligibly.

Suddenly, he jolted his hands forward towards the plate the cake sat on and yanked it towards himself off of the table. He sprinted furiously to the open balcony door, hoisting it over his right shoulder as everyone sat motionless behind him in shock. With one large heave, the cake launched out of the apartment into the open air, half of it splattering across the barrier, the other half soaring down towards the pavement, trailed by scattered rose icing and millions of glass pieces in its wake.

The whites in his eyes lit up in horror. At the moment it left his grasp, his other hand reached out to grab it back.

There was no chance.

Rebounding glass shards shined the moonlight back to him as they stabbed themselves into the demolished cake slowly oozing down the balcony. The pink, vanilla frosting and hand-crafted roses dropped, one by one, into the floor, melting themselves across the concrete. What remained of the picture of him on the front dissolved into the chaos, smearing the toothy grin of long-lost 5 year old across the wall, letting the jelly filling from beneath pour out like blood across what was left of the vanilla frosting, drowning everything in a dark red fluid. The glass embedded itself deeper and deeper in the mess as it became an unrecognizable, disheveled heap in a matter of seconds.

His hands trembled violently in front of him. He couldn't believe what he'd done. He couldn't believe he was capable of doing something so horrible.

He hated himself.

He wanted to die.

He turned around quickly to say something, say _anything_ to mitigate the situation and maybe turn things around before it was too late-

 _"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAI!"_

 _Confetti and streamers flew into his face and Mommy and Daddy stood clapping ecstatically beside the table. Dad reached out for his hand and dragged him over to his seat in the center. The smell of candles surged through the air as sunlight shined through the windows across the room. Mommy held a small baby in her arms that was waving a purple rattle back and forth before being set down across from him in a highchair. The baby kept gleaming at him in excitement, shaking its seat as it wiggled and hopped around, letting out small gurgles and squeals every few seconds._

 _Mommy walked over to him now, hands free, and - (this was his favorite part!) - strapped a big, cone-shaped birthday hat over the mop that was called his hair. She planted it on with a kiss, which he freely accepted, and knelt down next to him along with Daddy on his opposite side._

 _A giant grin opened up on his little face and his tongue could feel the toothless gaps inside of his mouth. A quick glance out the window showed the Hightonview Terrace Bridge gleaming in the light next to the Hikarigaoka station._

 _"Ready to blow out the candles now buddy!?" Daddy asked him, putting his arm around him with a big smile, pulling him closer into his chest._

 _Tai nodded back ecstatically._

 _"Don't forget to make a wish!" Mommy added, snuggling up as close to him as Daddy was._

 _"I won't!" his high-pitched voice replied back, expressing noticeable concern that he'd almost forgotten his wish!_

 _"Alright then... Ready?!"_

 _"Onnneeee..."_

 _"Twwwwwoooooo..."_

 _"THREE!" -_

His head hit the floor like a sack of bricks.

A familiar, high-pitched blaring sound shrieked through his ears, sending cold shivers like knives shearing through his back in terror.

Everything was dark again... And blurry. His vision was spinning around his head too rapidly to keep up with what was going on around him, and he kept missing his footing on the tile as he tried to crawl himself to something that he could use to pick himself back up. But each time he moved a few inches, he collapsed again into the ground, continuously needing to re-establish himself in an elevated position.

He found himself finally heaving his upper body onto the countertop when the toe of a boot came gutting itself through his underbelly, sending him tumbling across the hallway and ending up with his head bashing into the doorway, his legs following close behind.

He could swear he heard someone or something familiar crying *Stop!* as slow, heavy footsteps creaked across the floorboards but almost nothing could be heard over the screaming of the white noise in his ears. Upon opening his eyes, a blurry dark figure stood above his unkempt body, face darkened by the shadows. It reached down towards his collar and snatched it in its clutch, leaving him too delirious and stunned to do anything in resistance. His back scraped upwards against the door as he slowly was dragged a meter off the ground, pulled higher and higher by his neck, choking under the constriction of his jersey.

"Tai..."

...

"Your mother and I are getting a divorce..."

Everything suddenly dropped into place.

"We were out today... Signing the divorce papers..."

He couldn't breathe. The floodgates in his eyes had completely opened up; showers of tears relentlessly drenched his cheeks with no resistance. He just stared into the man's face who refused to return any form of acknowledgement to him.

Suddenly, the hand released him and he collapsed back to the ground, smashing his bones down into the hard wood floor.

"Just..."

Tai looked back up-

 _"Get Out."_

It sounded painful for him to say; like a bullet had just ripped through his spine. Tai tried to make his mouth do _something_ to respond. _Anything._ But nothing could come out; he just sat staring with a gaping mouth, face trembling upwards in horror, unable to voice anything.

The door behind him yanked open, bashing his tailbone like a sledgehammer and sending him tumbling out of the way. He landed sprawled on all fours, back caving in from the blow, head already looking out the doorway into the thousands of Tokyo lights blazing in his eyes.

 _"Leave."_

* * *

Streetlight after streetlight bled dull red.

Smoke poured out his damp mouth.

Barred windows whistled alongside with the night wind.

The sweat collected on the hairs on his legs and frosted over.

It was cold.

He kept sweating.

Happy Birthday.

 _Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring_

* * *

 _OOoooOOooOoo_ things have really escalated, eh? The good thing about these 4 chapters being done is that now all the other characters are going to be coming into the story and things are going to get... interesting. ;)

Also, if anyone is wondering the reason I assigned March 22nd for Tai's birthday is due to a really awesome Chosen Children Astrology fan theory that I read about once that had Tai as an Aries (3/21 - 4/19). Since I'm also an Aries, I decided what the heck, let's just put it on the 22nd.

Anyway, Fav/Follow/Review and thanks for reading!


	5. Repression

Hey everyone, sorry for a massive wait time for this chapter. This past school year was straight-up death. However, what's good about the time since the last chapter is I had a lot of time to figure out the full direction and plot for the rest of the novel, something that I'd been struggling with a bit with since its conception. Either way, enjoy!

* * *

 **He's Gone**

 **Chapter 5**

 **Repression**

March 27th

It was Thursday.

Tai groaned as he rolled around irritably under the covers, unable to find a position in which he was comfortable; probably because he'd hardly left the bed for almost a week now. To be perfectly honest, he really didn't know where the time had gone. He'd been in what felt like a trance for just about the whole time.

He wrinkled his brow, struggling to remember anything that had happened since he got here... Wherever here even was...

He knew he wasn't in his room anymore, in fact, it felt like he hadn't been home for a while. The only thing he could recall was that he had seen Kari at some point. He also could feel a tugging sensation in his gut that he was forgetting something very important.

'What was it though?'

Looking around the room, his eyes stumbled upon a crate of supplies across the room in the corner. It was filled to the brim with clothes, shoes, his backpack, cards and ID's, etc. Seeing it immediately jogged a bit of his memory back up; he could vaguely recall phoning Kari to come bring some of his belongings over. Strangely enough though, he couldn't remember on which day that he'd done so.

'Was it Sunday? Monday maybe?'

It didn't really matter anyway.

He rolled over again to face the alarm clock on the night table beside the bed.

'7:15 AM'

It was still really early. He knew he should probably get up and go to school. If he got up now, he could probably make it there on time. Looking out the window in the back of the room, it was pitch black out, as if it were still nighttime. It was bizarre; somehow it felt as if all of the hours he'd spent in here it had been night the entire time.

He pushed off the covers and sat up for what felt like the first time in a year. His mouth was so dry... And his stomach so empty... A few used water bottles and unwrapped packages of half-eaten food lay around the supply crate, leaving a trail over to his bed. There couldn't have been more than half a days' worth of food scattered around the floor. It was no wonder he was starving. He made a mental note to bring any remaining food with him to school to have on the way there.

He reached for his phone and unplugged it from the charger. To his surprise, it immediately started buzzing upon being turned on. Dozens of unread messages flooded across the screen. Most of them from his friends. A lot of them were from Kari.

He must have ignored the incoming messages the first time they appeared when he (likely) picked up his phone and called Kari to come to wherever he was. It was the most logical explanation. At least, that's what he think happened. There was no other reason for those messages to be popping up again if he'd already went through them.

It was more difficult than he anticipated, piecing back together the events of the past week. He couldn't understand why he hadn't read through any of the texts over the past 5 or so days. It's not like he had anything else to do while he was there.

'What the hell was I doing that whole time?'

* * *

'Saturday: 15:13

From: Sora

Tai! I'm so sorry - we mixed up the day for your game! I'm trying to get everyone together to get there before it's over! I know you're playing right now so you won't get this until later but if we don't make it go kill it out there as you always do!

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 3

* * *

'Saturday: 16.44

From: Sora

I'm really sorry I couldn't get everyone together to go - I'm assuming we missed your game by now...

Matt was supposed to drive but since we thought it was scheduled for tomorrow he didn't have any way to get back home so he could pick us all up - it's my fault though, I told everyone the wrong day I'm such an idiot! I hope you did well for your birthday match! :D

* * *

'Saturday: 16:56

From: Matt

Hey Tai, sorry we missed the game. U probably already heard it from Sora but she screwed up the day tht u were gonna play.

Hope you guys won tho - ik you'd been training really hard for this so let me know how you did when you see this

Oh, and Happy Birthday man ;) - you didn't think I'd forget did you? :)

* * *

'Saturday: 17:40

From: Izzy

Tai please don't kill me I swear this was Sora's fault!

(Don't kill her either though!)

I'll send you all the history hw for the week to make up 4 it, I promise!

* * *

'Saturday: 19:27

From: Sora

Tai...

* * *

'Saturday: 19:37

From: Matt

Hey bud, you there?

* * *

'Saturday: 19:45

From: Matt

... Tai are u mad..?

* * *

'Saturday: 20:22

From: Sora

Tai please answer me.

* * *

'Saturday: 21:05

From: Matt

If ur mad you don't have to answer me I get it but at least don't ignore Sora she's rlly concerned

* * *

A few more messages from Saturday asking him to reply popped up on the screen. He frowned dishearteningly and kept scrolling past them. They seemed to imply that he got hurt or something really bad happened to him that evening, but he had no idea what they were referring to.

'What the hell were they talking about..?' he thought to himself anxiously. He was drawing a blank, nothing he could remember seemed out of the ordinary, although then again he couldn't recall much in the first place.

Sunday's texts looked about the same as the others, with a lot of prompts from Kari asking where he was and that she was really worried. One message from her on Sunday night peaked his interest though:

* * *

'Sunday: 20:05

From: Kari

Tai, I really can't agree with what you're doing here. Lately, you've been acting more and more rash and becoming more and more distant from me and all of your friends too. I hope you figure things out while you're away from us for a bit.. I really want you back home.

* * *

That was the last thing he'd gotten from her... He didn't really know how to even respond to it. Everything was so confusing and foreign to him. It felt like he was living someone else's life. None of these messages were making any sense.

* * *

'Monday: 14:10

From: Matt

Why weren't u in school td?

* * *

'Monday: 15:23

From: Matt

Why are you making everyone worry like this?!

This didn't look good. Matt seemed like he was getting really upset.

* * *

'Monday: 19:31

From: Matt

Tai, I'm at the bottom of your building. Come down.

* * *

'Monday: 20:00

From: Matt

I'm sick and tired of your bullshit come downstairs already.

* * *

Tai gulped.

'Uh-oh.'

* * *

'Monday: 20:25

From: Matt

Idk what's going on with you but what you're doing isn't right. At least say something so we know ur not fucking dead - you've been acting so weird lately idek what to think anymore. Come to school tomorrow, I hope you're alright.

* * *

The only remaining texts after that were from Izzy and Kari. Izzy on Tuesday morning asking where he was and Kari on Tuesday night letting him know that she'd told all his friends that he wasn't staying at home anymore but he was fine.

That was a relief; at least they wouldn't be left thinking he killed himself or something.

With that, he got himself changed, cleaned up, and packed for school. Checking to make sure he didn't leave anything behind, he took a quick look around the small room before walking out the door. Looking around as he strolled down the hallway, it seemed there were a lot of other rooms in the building. It must've been some sort of hostel; he knew he couldn't afford to be living in a hotel.

He had a decent sum of money saved up, but it wouldn't last him long in a hotel. If this hostel was the one he was thinking of, he could afford to stay here for quite a while. But honestly why was he there in the first place?

As he walked out, the desk clerk gave him a look as if to say "It's about damn time you got out of there."

He shielded his face from the sun glaring directly in his eyes as soon as he stepped foot out of the building. It was strangely warm for this time of year, and certainly much warmer than the last time he'd been outside. Looking around the area, it didn't take long to pinpoint and recognize exactly where he was. It wasn't too far from his apartment so it was a very familiar sector to him. That was good, because if he didn't hurry up he was going to be late to school.

* * *

He made it into class just a few seconds before the first bell rang. For some reason, once he walked inside, he couldn't help but notice everyone's voices falling suddenly down to whisper levels. His pace immediately halted to a slow crawl across the classroom, dampened by the awkward tension that had suddenly engulfed the room. From his peripheral vision, he could just make out literally _every single_ head in class turn his way once he walked down the aisle to his seat. It was like he had shown up with a gun in his hand.

Sora and Matt looked like they had seen a ghost as he sat down next to them. They were quieter than anyone else in the classroom. Even after looking directly into their eyes, it was as if they had gotten the wind knocked out of them and couldn't speak. They both just glanced, practically dumbstruck, at one another and then back at him again.

'Ummm...' he thought to himself, raising an eyebrow quizzically, unsure what to do or say to them.

"Hey guys."

'I guess that's as good of a way to start as anything else.'

Sora responded with a look like he had three heads.

"Are you serious...?" she asked, her tone much graver than he hoped it would be.

He gulped regretfully. Her expression was unwavering and as solid as a rock, like she had him with a knife at his throat.

'Hmmm' he thought as a bead of sweat dripped down his neck, 'Maybe coming to school today wasn't such a good idea after all. What the hell else does she want me to say?!'

"Hi Tai," Matt replied back in a contrastingly calmer voice, leaning back expectantly in his chair, "Nice to see you're still alive."

Matt certainly didn't sound as angry as she did, but Tai could catch a small hint of irritation and dryness in the way he said it. It just so happened that Matt was able to conceal his thoughts and emotions a lot better than Sora could. But after knowing Matt for as long as he did, it became easy to pick up on little details that gave away his real feelings.

"Sorry if I made you guys worry," he said flatly, though not really sure if he actually fully meant it. He still didn't really understand what the hell was going on.

"You have _no_ idea how concerned everyone was about you," Sora blurted out, practically jumping out of her seat and catching more than just a _hint_ of attention from the other students nearby, "Kari had no idea where you were all Sunday and _we_ didn't even find out until _days later_ that you had run off somewhere all by yourself."

'...'

Was there anything else to say other than 'sorry' again at this point? Probably not. To be straight up, he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Sora like this... It was kinda scary. Then again though, given his current memory she could've acted like this 10 times in the past week and he wouldn't have remembered it, so who knew what was really going on. (Answer: Definitely not him)

Fortunately, the bell rang right before Sora could unleash another dose of her motherly fury and their teacher walked in. He assumed this was where the expression 'Saved By The Bell' had come from as he wiped more sweat from his forehead.

"Meet us at lunch, alright?" she whispered quickly to him.

He nodded back in agreement, which seemed to satisfy her, and she turned around to face forward. As he did the same, he caught Matt still looking at him like he was about to say something. His eyebrow was slightly furrowed and it looked like something was wrong or he had noticed something. However, before Tai could make any sort of gesture, he appeared to drop his thought and turn away towards the front of the class.

Matt muttered something small under his breath to himself but Tai couldn't quite make it out. He shrugged apathetically and reached down into his bag to get out his things. It had felt like ages since he'd done any schoolwork; he'd been out so long that it was probably gonna take ages before he caught up with the rest of the class. He sighed; this was really gonna suck.

The bell finally rang.

'Thank God,' he thought to himself, falling back into his chair and exhaling deeply. He could finally take a mental break now and cool off during lunch for a bit after he'd been focusing so hard for the last few hours.

As he was walking through the hallways to his locker, he noticed something strange was going on. The more and more he looked around, the more and more he began to notice it all around him.

People were... Staring at him. It was like earlier when he'd walked into class... All the attention was gravitating towards him like a magnet.

But it wasn't just staring. They weren't just standing frozen on the walls, wide-eyed like deer in headlights; it was more like they were... Laughing... Mocking...

Laughing at... 'me?'

Groups of guys had all eyes crooked from the way they were facing... 'On me...?' Girls by their lockers were whispering to each other giggling while directing all of their attention... 'At me...'

He gulped and cold sweat began to pour down his shirt as he looked side-to-side realizing that it was nearly _everyone_ around him. Every time he looked one way the people around him avoided eye contact and turned away. Every time he looked the other way everyone did _exactly the same._ Every single time he turned his back another sneer, another cackle, another person in hysterics cried out behind him.

He felt like running. He felt like punching the next guy he saw with a stupid look on his face _square in the jaw._

Why was everyone staring at him?! What was everyone laughing at?!

Though his mind grasped for an answer, he couldn't figure out what everyone was focusing on. It was just like in class earlier, when everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to glare at him. All he knew was that it was probably something really bad. Panic spread through him and he gulped, heightening his walking pace by the second.

Suddenly, as he ricocheted his vision like a bullet up and down the hallways, searching for any escape outlet to his torment, the bathroom door swung open like a rescue beacon calling out to him. Without a second thought, he proceeded inside as quickly and calmly as he could, trying not to draw any more attention than he was already attracting. Once inside, he hopped into the nearest of the stalls and slammed the door shut.

It may not have been pretty, but at least now, finally, he was safe.

Tense, stuttered breaths turned smoother and quieter while he began to sit down on the toilet and settle himself down again. The moisture running down his back seeped back into his skin; his legs stopped rattling against the seat; his hands no longer trembled as they held each other for security.

He took a long, deep breath;

Slowly in through his nose...

Slowly out through his mouth...

...

It smelled like shit in here...

He supposed that was to be expected; it was a bathroom after all.

But in all seriousness, _what the hell_ had just happened out there? He honestly couldn't put two  & two together. It seemed almost out of nowhere that everyone had just broken out and started focusing completely and utterly on him.

What could he have possibly done to draw all of that attention?! He tediously played through all of his memories of that day but still couldn't come up with anything.

'Okay,' he thought, mentally checking off the school day from his list of potential causes, 'It has to be something else then.'

It also wouldn't make sense if that were it; people had been acting weird around him since he arrived this morning.

What if everyone else was able to see something that he couldn't see, like a sign on his back or a wardrobe malfunction or something of the likes?! His heart skipped a beat or two as he reconciled the possibility that something as humiliating as that could've gone on without his notice. Almost frantically, he reached around with his hands, grabbing all over, across his back, butt, legs, and head. He also picked up his backpack from the white, tiled floor and spun it around, letting out a breath of relief when he couldn't find anything abnormal attached to it.

But suddenly, the thought dawned on him that maybe something wasn't added to his external appearance, but rather wrong with him himself. Overreacting once again, he immediately leapt off the toilet seat and out of the stall to the mirrors across the bathroom. Shoving his face up to the glass, he spun left and right rapidly in an effort to find anything that may have given people a reason to turn him into a laughingstock. But it was to no avail; there wasn't anything at all (that he could find) which appeared wrong or off about him today. Sora and Matt would've told him this morning if that had been the case.

He stood still and thought deeply for a minute... Maybe it was somehow related to what Sora and Matt were upset about. Everyone had been acting like something had happened in the past few days, but he was the only-

"Yeah, I know, it's like I already told you-"

'Oh no,' he thought in terror, taking a step back from the mirror in front of him and realizing from the sight of his bare lower half that in his hysterics he had forgotten to put his pants back on.

It was just perfect timing, as soon as he was naked somebody just _had_ to walk in.

As quickly as possible, he flung himself back into the stall before the incoming group of guys were given a view that none of them likely cared to see.

"-he just completely **_fucked_** us over. Why should I feel any sympathy for someone like that?!"

Probably a split second before the trio of boys turned the corner into the bathroom, he managed to propel himself back full-force into the stall, not so inconspicuously slamming the door shut while using it to not fly head-first into the toilet. Luckily, it seemed like the guys didn't really notice him since they were all talking so loudly. As silently as possible, now that he'd caught his balance, he crept back to the seat and placed himself down stealthily; he wanted to attract as little attention as possible so as to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"I guess so..."

He noticed that this second voice was distinct from the first one that began talking when they had walked in. Actually, now that he thought about it though, the two voices sounded extremely familiar.

"... But he's proven himself a hundred times before. I don't really think that he'd-"

"-Yeah, but none of that counts for shit when he just decides to screw all of us when _literally_ _**everything**_ is riding on the outcome."

That was the third voice; it sounded just as familiar as the other two. Two of them sounded really, _really_ serious about something, like they were ready to start a fight or something. They were so loud about it that the bathroom was echoing back and forth every time they opened their mouths. The other one seemed kinda unsure and overwhelmed, almost like he was too intimidated by the other two to openly disagree with them.

"Exactly," the first voice responded before hacking out spit into the sink, "He's getting exactly what he deserves for embarrassing all of us the way he did; showing up halfway into the game and then _just_ _**DIVING**_ on a completely open net!"

"You really think he dived...?" the second voice replied dishearteningly, as though he was having serious doubts that the first voice wasn't stretching the truth.

"Are you serious, Hisoka?!" the third voice exclaimed furiously, "You saw it with your own eyes! He took a straight-up dive right into the ground out of absolutely nowhere! He didn't trip, he didn't get pushed, he didn't even make an attempt to make it look the least bit realistic! He just fuckin' stopped deadass in his tracks, let the ball keep rolling, and then just threw himself to the ground! It was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen!"

'Wait a minute...' Tai thought for a second, 'I recognize that name! That's Hisoka from soccer...'

"Whatever Yugio," the first voice said to the third, "He knows it too it's not worth getting all bent out of shape over."

"I know you guys are probably right," Hisoka interjected, "I just really can't believe _anyone_ on the team could do something like that... Let alone him..."

The first voice let out a heavy sigh, sounding like he couldn't help but agree.

"No one's spoken to him since it happened so nobody's sure of his actual reasons for doing it."

The running water from the sinks turned off as the hand dryers blasted on.

"Daiki thinks Tokyo paid him to do it."

"No way, seriously?!" Yugio exclaimed over the roar of the blowers.

"Yeah; Daiki said the whole 'diving' part probably just came out a lot more obvious then he originally intended to and he ended up giving himself away. It's a shame for him he isn't as good an actor as he is a soccer player."

The voices began fading away quickly as they left the bathroom.

"Ya know, that might actually- -"

Tai couldn't make out their words anymore. As the blowers stopped and no more noise rang out from the hallways, a silence re-enveloped the bathroom. It sounded like something had happened at a soccer match? Did somebody throw the game?! It must've been really serious for them to be that angry. However, he also couldn't imagine anyone on his team accepting a damn bribe from the other team; they (along with basically everyone in the league) _**haaated**_ the stupid, pompous Tokyo squad.

From the way they were depicting it, it sounded like someone had an open net and just took a flat out dive to avoid scoring. It probably was one of the strikers, which were only 2 guys besides himself.

He shook his head to himself, not at all convinced by whatever Yugio, Daiki, and whoever else were running their mouths about. Everyone on that team was completely committed and trustworthy. Besides, who would have the balls on Tokyo to try to pay off a rival player; if news ever got out they'd be automatically disqualified from the league.

He sat there and thought about it for awhile. It honestly sucked that they'd lost the championship match, but now this too? Maybe his teammates' frustration at losing was clouding their judgement on the matter. He was positive no one would ever think about betraying the team. A lot of them had been playing together since they were just kids; that kind of connection isn't the type of thing you could turn a blind eye to so suddenly. He would have to look more into this later, though it would be difficult to do so now that the season was over. Only a few of his teammates actually attended his high school.

He sighed begrudgingly and checked his phone for the time. At this point, he'd probably missed lunch with Matt and Sora.

He gulped.

'Yup, missed it.'

The bell for the next class period rang to reassure him that he fucked up. Immediately, a sharp twinge of anxiety shot through him. He had to quickly get out of the main hallway and get to his class before becoming a target of everyone's attention again. With that, he grabbed his stuff and darted out of the bathroom, trying to make it to his destination before most people could get out into the hallways. With luck, he made it while only attracting a couple of glares along the way. There were only a few periods left before he could go back home.

... Or rather, to the current location of his stake-out.

Upon looking at his phone once more, he caught a glimpse of about 5 more angry texts from Matt and Sora, wondering what he was doing. They probably thought he didn't want to see them after all the time he'd spent avoiding them.

Another thing to add to his to-do list: Find the two of them before the end of the day.

He took his seat and prepared for a couple more hours of hell before he could get out of here. He would deal with everything after school today.

* * *

The last bell rang and out the door he went.

Two things to do:

First, get out of the school before another giant crowd decided to gawk at him.

Second, find Matt and Sora before they left the grounds.

Since he got out of the doorway well before anyone else in the surrounding classrooms, he had a few seconds to run out of his wing without being spotted and get a head start heading towards his locker. Yet, as he turned the corner to the main wing, he noticed from down the hall that someone was already standing by his locker. Two "someones" actually.

It looked like he wasn't going to need any help accomplishing number two on his to-do list. Both of them were standing right over there. They had spotted him just as well, so there was no escape.

Tai gulped a bit as he walked over. It's not like he was planning on running away from them, in fact, he wanted to talk to them too. It was just...

'The way they're standing...'

They didn't look happy, even from a distance. They were kind've staring at him expectantly, as if to say "We know you're avoiding us, so we came here to force you to talk to us."

They were only a few meters away now. He had quickly think of something to say in order to avoid an argument that he knew was probably gonna happen anyway.

"Look, guys, I'm really sorry abo-"

"Tai."

He cut off his sentence once she started speaking, immediately surrendering to her.

"Matt and I were talking about it," she continued in a surprisingly brighter tone, looking up at Matt for reassurance, "We should do something fun. Just the three of us."

"W-what?" he stammered out incredulously, appearing slightly taken back and stunned in the moment. He couldn't believe he wasn't getting a lecture from her or Matt.

"Are you good?" she said, interrupting his dumbstruck stare and raising an eyebrow, revealing a look of amused confusion.

"U-uhh, y-yeah, for sure!" he blurted back out, trying to quickly recollect himself, "What did you guys have in mind?!"

...

* * *

Since it's currently only the beginning of June, I've got the rest of the summer to do Chapter 6, so I have no doubts I'll be able to finish it by the end! Hope everyone enjoyed this one, please Favorite, Follow, and Review! I love hearing feedback!


	6. Broken

Hey everyone! I honestly can't believe I've been able to get out the longest chapter thus far in such a short amount of time. I think it was much easier to write than the previous ones because of the much higher density of dialogue and conversation. It really helps to move things along nicely. Also, as promised, things have calmed down for a bit which is a relief.

Unfortunately, there's no way I'm gonna be able to get another chapter out this summer - I have a deferred exam to take at the end of August so I gotta get studying right away. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

 **He's Gone**

 **Chapter 6**

 **Broken**

* * *

Sora was worried.

This past week had been a whirlwind to say the least. First, there was the whole mix-up with Tai's soccer game. She had taken it upon herself to organize the group outing so that everyone who was available could make it. Yet, unbeknownst to her, she'd told everybody the incorrect day; it wasn't until Izzy brought it to her attention that she realized her mistake. The problem was, he told her this 5 minutes after the game had already started. It was only the beginning of the abundance of problems that would arise during the week.

After everything fell apart and no one in their friend group ended up attending, Tai ignored all of her (and everyone else's) messages for the next few days. Despite her best efforts, including sending Matt over to confront him, she didn't learn anything about what was going on until Tuesday night, when she practically begged Kari to tell everyone what she knew. Sora realized it must have been pretty serious if even Kari of all people was hesitant to let her in on what happened on Saturday. However, she never expected the Kamiya's to be getting a divorce.

From her perspective, it always seemed like they were such a tight-knit, happy family. She supposed the lesson held true that you really don't know what's happening in someone's life until you wear their shoes and walk a mile in them. Even now, days later, it was difficult for her to process what had happened. Everything felt so surreal to her. She thought at the very least that Tai would have confided something in her if his life at home had gotten that bad, but it seemed that didn't hold true either.

He had been acting distant, distraught, and downright strange for a few months now, but it was only brought fully to her attention this week after all the madness. Running away from home? Dropping off the face of the earth for days without even so much as a message letting everyone know he was okay? Could he really think any of this was acceptable or (even moreso) normal behavior? Sometimes, his antics honestly infuriated her.

But then again, she was the terrible "best friend" who didn't act when she saw the warning signs.

Dwelling on it made her feel terrible about herself. It was so unlike her to be ignorant of problems going on in her friends' lives; she really had no excuse for not being more proactive. It seemed that in the wake of school, exams, sports, and work, she had put aside some of the things that mattered more than anything else. That was the whole reason she decided to put her (understandable) frustrations on the back-burner for the time being and do something fun for a change with the two boys.

Going to the mall wasn't exactly the most overwhelmingly exciting thing any of them had ever done, but it was the best thing she could think of at lunch earlier when Tai avoided both her and Matt once again. At this point, Tai ignoring them was beginning to become an expectation rather than a surprise. However, it still didn't stop her from blowing off some steam in aggravation. Poor Matt had to deal with her hysterics earlier when Tai didn't show, but at least the three of them were finally together again.

She walked behind the two boys as they talked, hoping they wouldn't notice her not-so-inconspicuously dropping out of the conversation and into deep thought. In the meantime, she was also shooting more than just a couple of dirty looks at people whom she overheard trash talking Tai as they left the grounds. That was one thing she absolutely couldn't stand for. She didn't care what people thought of her, but she wouldn't let any of her friends' names be tarnished while she was around.

People had been ruthlessly bashing his name all week, some of them right to her face. It made her sick. Regardless of what anyone thought he did, they didn't have any right to criticize him without knowing his situation, and, at the very least, personally asking him what really happened. Besides, critiquing him was her job anyway.

"Sora?"

She jumped a little bit after hearing her name and quickly awoke from her deep train of thought. She looked up in front to see Tai and Matt quite a ways ahead of her, both looking back towards her with a paralleled hint of confusion on their face.

"What's wrong?" Matt asked bluntly, "Thinking about something?"

That damned Matt could read her like a book sometimes.

"No, no I'm good!" she cheerfully replied with a grin, running over to the duo and placing herself right between them, "Sorry if I'm holding us up! Let's keep going!"

They nodded in agreement and kept walking, not noticing her quickly checking behind them once more to ensure no one was left making any gestures towards Tai. She really hoped he hadn't noticed any of what had been going on…

Along the way, she made certain not to mention anything about the game, his family, etc. She had also made Matt promise her that he wouldn't either. It wasn't necessary to bring all of that up now, when what they were doing was supposed to be cathartic for him.

"So Tai," she piped in, interrupting whatever conversation the boys were having to include herself in what was going on, "Did I tell you that tennis has finally started up again?"

"Oh really? Have you had any games yet?"

"Not yet… Right now we're in the middle of determining the line up and who's gonna be Captain this year."

"Oh man, it's totally gonna be you, Sor! I have no doubt about it."

She felt herself blush a little bit.

"Well, I wish I had your confidence about things. I still have to play Konomi to see who wins the title."

"Yeah, but Konomi sucks," Matt piped in coolly, "She relies way too much on her power and not her technical skill to win her matches. Her forehand is her only strong suit and even so, she rarely puts and significant spin on the ball."

Sora cocked her head in confusion and looked up at a nonchalant Matt, keeping his pace and still facing forward.

"How the heck do you know that?!" she asked bluntly, genuinely shocked by such an astute proclamation from a guy that she was 99% sure had never picked up a tennis racket in his life.

"I uhh..." he replied uncertainly, now clearly at a loss for an explanation, "I went to some of your games in the Fall. I probably noticed it then."

"Have you now?" she inquired, her words doused in sass, indicating that she clearly doubted his claim. She couldn't remember ever seeing Matt attending her games, other than the odd once-a-season event when everyone would come to see her play.

"Yes."

He said it confidently now as he turned to face her.

"I have."

A little taken back by his sudden directness, she decided to take his word for it.

"Alright, well, whatever you say."

"What he means to say," Tai interjected, a hint of mischief lingering in his voice, "Is that he creepily went to all of your games without telling you, all-the-while stalking your teammates at the same time."

Matt laughed abruptly, "Oh, is that how it is?!"

"Don't worry buddy," Tai continued, still with a smirk on his face, "I'm just helping you say what you wanna say, I know for you it's _real hard_ to use _your words_ to express _your feelings_."

She laughed to herself, watching Matt maintain his composure to fire back a barrage of insults in Tai's direction. It was all in good fun though, from what she could tell. She was extremely grateful that they were (for the most part) past the days of world wars beginning thanks to one of them giving the other the slightest push in the wrong direction. All the fighting they used to do was nothing short of tiresome and it would always be about the stupidest things.

Nowadays, real fights between the two were rare and typically didn't last very long. Then again, it's not like the fate of the world was at stake anymore either. For that, she was even more thankful.

"Alright, alright, relax you two," she said, pushing between them and re-inserting herself into the conversation, "Look, we need to turn up ahead, let's pay attention to where we're going."

* * *

"So Sora," Tai began, "Why are you bringing us here anyway?"

"Rude!" she exclaimed sharply, turning to show him her disapproval on her face. She rolled her eyes as she turned back to face front; expecting Tai to be appreciative of her _kind_ gesture was clearly too much to ask for. Although, then again, it wasn't like she wasn't accustomed to it.

She put a genuine smile on and spun once again in his direction.

"As I told you before, I feel bad that the three of us haven't done anything fun in a long time. I wanted to bring us all together, catch up on stuff, enjoy ourselves for once. Is that too much to ask for?"

She gave him a friendly punch in the shoulder as Matt opened the door for them.

"I swear," Tai responded, rubbing his shoulder, "You're a nut."

She gasped dramatically, playing along, pretending to be insulted.

"You know, Tai, why can't you be more like Matt?! Look how nice he is, opening the doors for us like a real gentleman."

Hearing her comment, Matt assumed a posh, sophisticated pose, holding his hand out in front of him.

"No autographs, please"

Her and Tai both groaned in unison.

"Ugh, you two are both hopeless."

The three of them laughed and started walking around, browsing to see if they could find anyplace or anything worth checking out. She didn't tell Tai, but she also wanted to get him something to make up for missing his birthday soccer match. She figured it would be easiest to let him find something he wanted while walking around and then just buy it for him, since whenever she picked out clothes for him he ended up never wearing them. He would always say it wasn't ' _his style_ ' or that it ' _wasn't comfortable._ ' This was just another way of saying that the clothes were nice, because the only thing he ever wore outside of school was trashy athletic clothes. Shame on her for trying to make him look good.

"Hey, let's go there!" Tai exclaimed suddenly.

She sighed with relief, finally they chose somewhere to go inside.

"Tai!" she yelled back, realizing he was pointing to a ramen shop in the food court, "Didn't you just eat an hour or two ago?!"

"Yeah, but..."

She hated to admit it, but his face with the puppy dog eyes he was making right now was _really_ cute; totally unnecessary, but really cute. He always acted like he needed permission from her to do things and she didn't really understand why. He said she acted like his second mom and it drove her crazy. She supposed she could see that a bit when they were a few years younger, but definitely not anymore. She wasn't nearly as uptight and controlling as she used to be.

"What are you making that face for?!" she replied back, laughing, "Go ahead, we're right behind you."

"Yes!" he exclaimed, leaping in the air before jogging up to the queue.

"I swear," she said with an embarrassed smile on her face, talking to Matt now, "He's never going to grow up, is he?"

Matt shrugged, "I hope not."

...

...

"That's an interesting thing to say, Matt," she commented after taking a moment to process what the tall, blonde boy had said.

Immediately it looked like all the muscles in his body froze up. Clearly he hadn't meant to say something so unveiling and profound.

"Uhh, I mean-"

He quickly recollected his natural, more serious demeanor and changed the topic.

"Do you think we were wrong about him?"

She found herself slightly startled by his question out of nowhere. Throughout the week they had spoken quite a few times about Tai; his behavior, everything that had happened, his state of mind, etc. They had both set their expectations quite low for what he would be like when they saw him again, but Matt's were even lower than hers. He knew firsthand what it was like to have your parents get a divorce, as well as the devastating impacts it had on anyone involved. He likely expected Tai to be in a stupor, unable to effectively communicate or do anything for that matter. Plus, Tai was now essentially the laughingstock of the school after his performance in the match against Tokyo. From what she heard, well above half of her peers thought he threw the game for some bribe. His reputation was decimated in a single weekend.

After watching the game footage, _even she_ had doubts that he hadn't dived on purpose. It looked really grim for him.

And yet, there he was, skipping towards a ramen shop, shouting his order over everyone else, acting completely like his normal, obnoxious self.

"I'm not sure," she finally replied.

Matt seemed to think silently for a few seconds.

"Don't you think it's better though if it's like this? I mean, that he seems okay? Maybe he's just dealing with it in his own way," she added conscientiously.

"That's exactly what worries me," he said cryptically.

' _ **?'**_

She gave him a quizzical look. He could never just be clear with what he was trying to say.

As if he could read her mind, he spoke again:

"Don't think too much about it, Sora. Let me do the worrying for once."

She blushed at his gesture; there were times when he could be really sweet. In unison, they started walking towards the ramen shop.

"You're a really good friend, Matt"

He returned a passive smile, clearly unsure how to respond to a compliment out of the blue.

"He's really lucky to have a friend like you," she added warmly.

"No, not really..."

She didn't say anything in reply, silently urging him to continue.

"I just owe him a lot."

…

She paused again to fully take in what he said.

"What do you-"

"C'mon, let's not keep him waiting," Matt interrupted before she could keep pressing him for details, "Are you hungry too?"

* * *

She couldn't stop laughing.

It didn't matter how many times they had gotten food together. Tai _always_ managed to ruin Matt's meal. It was like a tradition at this point, that every time the two of them ate together, Tai did something to Matt's food in an effort to try to push his buttons.

She was honestly surprised that at this point Tai was still able to catch Matt off-guard with his attacks. However, he was very crafty in devising a new way to spoil the food each time.

This time he'd done it by not attacking Matt's main dish, the bowl of ramen he'd purchased, but rather the glass of water he'd left on the table when his order was called at the counter and he got up to retrieve it. Very quickly and efficiently, Tai poured five already-torn packages of sweetener into the water and stirred it as to make the white powder inconspicuously dissolve in the water.

He knew as well as she did that Matt was not overly fond of things that were really sweet, so he was going to hate it. Plus, after consuming an extremely salty bowl of ramen, he was going to need to drink the water to quench his thirst. It was a perfect, well-thought out, elaborate plan that couldn't fail.

And, sure enough, after eating only half of the bowl, Matt reached for his glass to take a gulp. Instantly, he sputtered out whatever fluid had entered his mouth all over the table, causing a scene that more than just a few people around them noticed.

She and Tai, on the other hand, were immediately in hysterics; the look of absolute shock on Matt's face when the water first touched his lips was too much for her to bear. She didn't want to laugh at his misfortune, especially when everyone around them saw him spit all over the place, but it was just too funny. She never expected him to react so dramatically. Tai, of course, was practically in tears, head down on the table, trying to muffle his uncontrollable laughter.

Poor Matt, he hated being the center of attention, especially for something like this.

"You idiot!" Matt seethed under his breath, backhanding Tai's head fully into the table, creating a rather loud thud that brought all the eyes in the restaurant back towards him again. Clearly frustrated and redder than a tomato, he turned back to his ramen bowl and focused on eating it without trying to gain any more attention.

"Owwww..." Tai groaned, head still laying on the table, not laughing anymore, "That fucking hurt..."

Now able to contain herself, she responded before Matt could fire back at him.

"Tai you have to admit you deserved that," she said under muffled laughter.

"I know, I know," he said dismissively, snapping back into position, "It was worth it anyway. I'd do it again right now."

He was obviously still trying to get on Matt's nerves, but Matt seemed not to be having it. In a split second, the extremely sweet water went straight from Matt's glass into the remainder of Tai's ramen.

She rolled her eyes as Tai, in astonishment, began going ballistic over his ruined ramen. It's not like he had much left anyway. There were only a couple of spoonfuls remaining at most. Matt, however, seemed to thoroughly enjoy his exasperated reaction, sitting back now, relaxed, with a big grin on his face. At least he wasn't the center of attention anymore. Now it was the raving lunatic sitting next to them.

After the two of them finally finished arguing over the ramen, the three of them grabbed their stuff and head out to finally get to some stores. Although the point of this whole trip was to cheer Tai up, she was also eager to check out some clothes she'd been eyeing for awhile now.

"So no one's hungry anymore?" she began.

Both shook their head.

"No more food stops?"

"Bathroom breaks?"

"Time outs for fighting?"

At that last dig of hers they both returned an aloof look.

"Good," she continued, relieved, "Then let's finally go check out some clothes!"

They both shrugged and followed behind her, making it clear that she was much more excited than either of them were.

"So," she began again, spinning around to face them while walking backwards with a large smile on her face, "After all that time eating you guys probably have an idea of where you'd like to go, right?"

Tai gave her a startled look as if to say that it had been the absolute last thing on his mind while they were eating.

Matt, on the other hand, replied calmly and pointed towards a rather unwelcoming-looking store down the aisle.

"Yeah, let's go in there."

"Ugghhh!" Tai groaned at first glance of the store. Sora had to admit, she didn't really wanna go in there either. The store was, well, really black. Pretty much black everything. A bunch of (black) shirts with skulls and tight (black) skinny jeans hung out in front. Intense, angsty, punk music echoed outwards into the corridor.

"Matt, you can get your chokers, whips, and gags later."

Tai ducked with lightning fast reaction time as Matt's hand flew back at him.

"Nice reflexes, dumbass," Matt answered with a smirk on his face, "Have you got any better ideas?"

"How about..." she chimed in enthusiastically, "We just go to the department store. They'd have something for everyone I'd think."

Both boys looked satisfied with her suggestion and the three of them headed off. As soon as they walked into the store, she realized ditching them would be the best idea, since they both still appeared lost and indecisive. People always said that girls took forever while shopping and guys were in and out in a flash. Unfortunately for her, that saying didn't really seem to apply to them.

"Have fun guys, I'm going off by myself!" she called out from halfway down the aisle when they weren't looking, practically running away in the opposite direction, "Be at the register in no more than 30 minutes!"

She knew she should feel bad for giving them the slip, but they would end up taking forever and slow her down anyway. Besides, she wouldn't be able to talk to them while video chatting with Mimi. It was an unbreakable rule that every time she went shopping she _had_ to consult Mimi before buying anything. This, among other rules in their friendship, was not one that she had any intention of breaking.

* * *

Matt was worried.

He looked over at Tai as Sora ran into the adjacent corridor. He couldn't describe exactly what it was, but he could tell that something was off. For all intents and purposes, he was acting like his usual self. However, that was exactly the problem. After everything that happened, how could he simply shrug all of it off like it was nothing? Things were obviously getting to him; he moved out of the house - he didn't message them for nearly a week - he was being trashed left and right at school.

 _Nobody_ could pretend that all of that was 'nothing'.

Matt knew how Tai operated. He was the type to internalize things and not talk about them. That was something they had in common. However, Tai was even better at hiding his feelings than he was. Tai was almost always blunt and straightforward when it came to what he thought, but when it came to the things he _really felt_ , it was much easier for him to simply wear a mask than confront what was bothering him deep down.

"Damn," Tai began with a smirk, "Looks like I'm stuck with you."

Matt mirrored his look with a devious grin.

"You stole my line."

They both started walking towards the men's section together. He had a feeling that Tai really didn't have any interest in looking at clothes. He normally just wore the same trashy clothes every day.

"Are you looking for anything in particular?" he asked.

"Nah," Tai replied, "Honestly I'm pretty comfortable wearing the same trashy things I wear all the time."

'Knew it,' Matt thought to himself.

Even the school uniform Tai was wearing looked pretty dirty and unkempt. Both the pants and shirt had either a stain or rip on them from the copious number of times he'd ran, tripped, or played soccer in them.

Matt on the other hand had his shit together as far as apparel went. Whether inside or outside of school, he made sure he dressed for the occasion. He didn't particularly enjoy fancy clothes but rather preferred a style that reflected his music taste; articles that possessed a commensurate amount of angst, grunge, and composure. In all honesty, Tai could probably use his help in the clothes department.

"You know, I _could_ help you dress if you'd like," Matt suggested, not realizing until he said it how provocative and awkward it sounded.

To make it worse, Tai cocked his head a bit, raised an eyebrow, and looked at him like he had just socked him in the face.

"I-I mean!"

Tai started laughing mockingly at his attempt to save himself.

"I can't believe you just offered to dress me. Do you wanna feed and bathe me too?"

He frowned back apathetically.

"I was trying to say-"

"-That you could help me pick out some nicer clothes," Tai finished for him.

Tai looked like he was pondering something for a few seconds and then turned back to face him.

"I guess if you really wanna, I could take some suggestions."

Matt was really surprised at that answer. He low-key expected Tai to continue raving for the next two hours about that fact that he just offered to dress him (or better yet just never let him live it down).

"Whatever," he replied coolly, "I don't care either way. I just figured I'd offer since you clearly need the help."

He said it with a bit of grit at the end to try to cover up the fact that he was initially trying to make a nice gesture.

Tai laughed in response.

"Fine then, I'll take you up on that offer, but I have a few rules first!"

Matt walked behind him, barely listening to whatever he was going on about. 'No black' this and 'No goth' that was about all that registered from the interminable number of rules he managed to spit out in only a few seconds. He figured Tai would just prefer something comfortable, light, and not too fancy or flashy.

"How about this?" he suggested, interrupting Tai's rant on everything that was wrong with the clothes he wore. It was a complete outfit; a multi-shaded, blue shirt with a few buttons near the top paired with pastel-green colored shorts.

"Hmmm!" Tai hummed earnestly, seemingly considering his proposal, "You know, I'm actually kinda into this!"

Matt nodded back with a mild grin of approval while Tai continued his speech about what a surprise it was that he could find something that was actually appealing.

"I get it," Matt finally said with a slight aggressive edge in his tone, "I clearly have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to clothes."

It looked like Tai realized right away that his obnoxiousness had gone a nudge too far and waved his hands in front of him, trying to quickly grab back his last barrage of insults.

"Heh heh heh, sorry I guess I-"

"So if I don't know what I'm doing," Matt interrupted, "Then what does that make you?"

Tai looked a bit stunned for a moment before he returned the same devious smile Matt wore on his face.

"Thought you were mad for a second there, buddy."

"Me?" Matt replied innocently, "Never - now come on, I need some new shirts for the band. Let's go get 'em so we can meet Sora back up front."

"Sounds good," Tai said casually, walking ahead of him with both hands sitting relaxed while clutching the back of his head. He bounced up and down as he strode across the floor like it was a cloud, softly humming a song under his breath. It was like he didn't have a care in the world.

Matt stared at him almost incredulously. Since they'd left the school he hadn't stopped thinking about Tai and the current situation he was in. Even while they were walking around, eating, shopping; it was constantly in the back of his head, eating at his conscience.

 _'How can he nonchalantly stroll around after everything that's happened?!'_

It served to infuriate him how apathetic he was acting, not just right now but in general. Sure, maybe there was a chance soccer wasn't as important to him as he'd always made it seem and maybe the guy's skin (and head, for that matter) was much thicker than anyone had realized, but that wasn't a sufficient explanation.

His parents, who'd been together all 18 years of his life, were getting _divorced._

' _How can that mean nothing to him?'_

Matt walked behind, intently glaring at the brunette, analyzing his every move. None of his body language was even slightly reminiscent of that of someone who'd been through what he had. What was most frustrating was that Matt knew only too well the pain that came with a divorce.

When his parents had separated he didn't know what to do. He didn't know what was wrong or if he did something to cause this. He worried himself sick about TK, and how it would affect him growing up. He tried to grow up as quickly as he could because it was the only thing he do at the time. He…

...

 _He was so_ _young..._

Just hearing what had happened to the Kamiyas resurfaced emotions and memories that he didn't even know were still buried within him. There was no, _no way_ Tai could simply brush off that level of emotional turmoil.

There was definitely something else going on. His suspicions of it were nearly the only thing preventing him from fervently confronting Tai head-on. The other was Sora; he had given her his word that he wouldn't discuss it for the time being and he refused to break the promise he made to her.

"So the Knives of Ramen need new shirts, huh?"

Matt stared a bit wide-eyed as Tai flashed a big, maniacal-looking smile from in front of him, barely holding back laughter at his own joke.

Yeah, this kid was _fucking_ insane.

"For a new gig or somethin'?" he continued while Matt grabbed the shirts he needed for his group.

"Yeah, not sure when it's gonna be. Probably in the next couple weeks though; we have a couple of new singles that we're ready to premiere."

"Oh seriously?" Tai asked, "Make sure to let me know when there's an official date. I'll make sure I go."

"Alright," he agreed, "Let's go try these things on so we can finally get back to Sora."

Tai nodded and the two of them walked into the fitting rooms together. Matt noticed that he wasn't talking too much but was too hung up to make an effort to converse; there were way too many things he had to think about right now.

Checking his mobile, they still had 10 minutes to meet Sora back at the register, though something told him she would more likely be late than the two of them.

All of the rooms were taken except the one on the end, which he gestured Tai forward to take. Tai stepped in and he sat down on the bench across from the doorway, sighing groggily as he lowered himself down. Shopping always made him really tired for some reason. So much so, that he almost felt like going to sleep right then and there. He still had a lot of schoolwork to do when he got back home and wasn't looking forward to doing it.

He closed his eyes and slouched down into his seat. Things had been pretty crazy lately. More and more he'd been trying to find some outlet of escape from all of his problems, but nothing had really been working. Even music hadn't been easing his anxiousness like it usually did.

Matt sighed again. Sleeping and forgetting everything for a while was sounding like a better and better idea.

"-Hey, so are you sure we got the right short size?"

The quick opening of the door startled him and suddenly threw him out of his weary state. He didn't realize until right now that he'd already succumbed to his own sleepiness and fatigue.

"U-Uhh," he stammered, trying to recollect his cool after the unwelcome interruption of his train of thought. His eyes blinked rapidly to try to visually re-establish what was going on around him and he forced himself back up from his slouched position.

"They're pretty loose around the hips," Tai continued after Matt failed to promptly answer.

His vision was pointed towards the ground initially, at Tai's feet. He looked up slowly, mirroring the sluggish manner in which he resettled in his initial, upright position.

The shorts were hovering a few inches below the brunette's torso, barely holding their position around his slender lower frame and exposing his interior waistband. Looking further up his body, his eyes fervently followed Tai's V-lines all the way into his abdomen.

Matt couldn't help but keenly examine the boy's toned, athletic physique. He seemed to enter into a trance for a minute, eyes grazing across the exterior while time bled into obscurity. It felt like he was still safe, inside his own head, unsure of whether fatigue had overcome him or whether he was simply mesmerized. Tai's body was even more muscular than the last time he'd laid eyes on it. Tanned abdominal lines pushed their way to the surface along with the soft flutter of his breathing as Matt continued to subconsciously identify his figure.

His chest was larger than last time too, though it retained its smooth, youthful appearance. The slightest hint of adult maturity hid itself in his form, preparing to spring to life. It was most prevalent in his upper body, offering it a broad, competent appearance which Matt had never took note of before.

As their eyes met, he urgently snapped himself out of his daze, reseating himself so as to face Tai directly, as opposed to the brunette's lower body.

"... What are you staring at?"

Tai's face appeared riddled with uncertainty as he intently raised one eyebrow and almost took a step back towards the dressing room.

"St-taring?! What are you talking about? I said the shorts came with a belt - just use that so I can try this shirt on and we can get going."

"Hmm," Tai muttered, seemingly not entirely convinced by anything he was saying. He grabbed the belt that had fallen under the seat next to the mirror and walked out while looping it through the slots around his waist.

"You can go ahead, I'll finish up out here."

"Out here?!" Matt exclaimed, now fully awake, "Go back in and put your clothes on!"

"Nah," he replied dismissively,. "Since you seem to be in such a rush you can go. We're in a men's dressing room; I really don't care who sees me anyway."

"Whatever," he responded, giving the same eye roll he'd given Tai everytime he did or said something stupid.

He took a chance to look in the mirror after putting on the shirt he picked out.

It was a slim-fit, black shirt, ripped at the bottom with a vinyl design along the collar. He flipped his platinum blonde hair back to get a better full view of himself. His pale skin stood in stark contrast to the dark shade of the T-shirt. He lifted the bottom lining above his abdomen and looked below; the rest of his body was even paler than his face and arms. He didn't have any shade of tan like Tai did. He also lacked the same muscularity and toned physique. Though he was more slender than Tai was, his figure was undoubtedly inferior in comparison.

His crystal blue eyes struck back at themselves as he glared into his reflection. A lot of people, both ones he knew and didn't know, talked a lot about his appearance. His light features were exceedingly uncommon in Japan (as to be expected) and people often raved about him as his band's front man. In school, a lot of the other students were intimidated by him; some of them said he was full of himself because of all the attention he got for his looks, or because of the girls that would constantly throw themselves at him.

He truthfully could never understand what they were talking about. He never thought he was particularly good-looking in the first place. Above average maybe, but he definitely didn't live up to the hype some people created for him.

Also, he never enjoyed all the attention he got from girls; he found it awkward and embarrassing, if anything. He didn't really know how to deal with being the center of attention. He wasn't charming or charismatic with his words, like Tai was. In fact, one of the major reasons he started the band instead of a solo career was because he knew he wouldn't be able to cope with mass amounts of attention. Besides, it's not like they really cared anything about who he was; they just saw him as an object to hurl their affection at.

Matt put his original shirt back on and walked out of the fitting room, gesturing to a now-dressed Tai that they were good to go.

As they approached the register, they saw Sora wave them over, holding at least 5 different articles of clothing in her hands.

"Wow! You guys are actually on time!" she exclaimed with a smile, "Did you get everything you need?"

"Think so," Matt replied back warmly, "You certainly look like you had a... Uhh... _Fulfilling_ experience."

She followed his gaze down at the large pile of clothes she was carrying around and blushed embarrassingly in response.

"Yeah, do you think it's too much? I was on video call with Mimi and she kept pushing me to get more."

"It's fine, I know how convincing Mimi can be."

"Mimi's on call?!" Tai loudly interrupted.

"Not anymore unfortunately," Sora informed him, "Oh, but Tai, by the way, give me your outfit, I'm paying for you."

"Huh?" he asked, confused by her sudden proposal, "You don't have to, Sor, I've got money already."

"Yeah, but I never got you anything for your birthday and need to make up for it."

Matt attentively noticed her move in closer to Tai and tug on his clothes with a smile.

"I'm not taking no for an answer on this one so hand it over, don't make this more difficult for yourself!"

"I mean, whatever you say," he replied indifferently, "I'm not gonna argue with you if you're choosing to buy things for me."

"I'll pay for you then!" Matt blurted out all of a sudden, jerking himself directly towards Sora. He wasn't exactly sure what he was saying or what he was doing. He just knew that right now paying for her felt right; some primal instinct was compelling him to do it.

She returned a perplexed expression at his unexpected declaration and jumped back half a foot, clearly caught off guard by his sudden advance.

"You want to pay for me? Are you crazy? I have way too much stuff - I couldn't ask you to do that."

"Don't worry Sora," Tai interjected, "Matt will have plenty of extra dough because I'll be paying for him!"

He and Sora spun their heads towards Tai in astonishment.

" _WHAT?!_ " they hollered in unison.

Out of the corner of his eye, Matt noticed several heads from around the store turn in their direction.

"Yeah, you can thank me later buddy," Tai said while patting him on the shoulder like one would with a child.

Matt was mortified. What kind of guy did shit like this. He tried to do something nice for Sora and Tai just made it into one big, confusing joke between the three of them. He felt himself blush to a shade redder than a strawberry with embarrassment. Or maybe it was with rage. Or fury.

 _'What is he trying to pull here?!'_

"What are you talking about?!" he snapped, "You are _not_ paying for me!"

"That's what you think," Tai responded competently, obviously unfazed by his demeanor, "I'm just doing everything I can to support the Knives of Ramen, y'know."

With that Sora instantaneously burst out into loud hysterics at Tai's weak, overused joke, trying to contain herself by covering her mouth. It was then he decided that it was fury. He was definitely red with fury above anything else. They were being so roaringly obnoxious that every person in their line of sight was turned in their direction.

"I give up," Sora declared finally, waving her hand in front of her in surrender, "I don't even care anymore. I'm taking this stuff and paying regardless."

In a flash, before she could take another step, he and Tai simultaneously grabbed both Sora's and his items out of each other's arms.

"You need to strengthen your grasp a bit, Ishida," Tai boasted, triumphantly displaying the shirts for Knife of Day in his hands, stolen out from Matt's grasp.

Matt rolled his eyes again, willingly giving in once again to the ridiculous antics of Tai Kamiya. It was no matter, he was still paying for Sora so technically he hadn't failed to do what he sought to do. Why should he care if Tai wanted to save him money? He shed his cold attitude for a moment and smiled to himself when the others looked away, shaking his head.

'What the hell'd I do to deserve getting stuck with these lunatics as friends?'

* * *

"I _STILL_ can't believe the scene we made in there!"

Now back on the street (and with their _correct,_ respective clothing items), Sora was still laughing about what went on at the register.

"Everyone for three aisles stopped what they were doing to watch you two idiots yell and fight with each other!"

"Hey," Tai snapped back, "You attracted just as much attention as we did with your high-pitched laughing. Although, it _was_ at one of my jokes, so I could understand you having trouble containing yourself."

"Please," she replied, brushing him to the side, "You caught me off guard, that was all. It's been way too long since I've heard you make fun of Matt's band."

"Whelp," she said, stopping suddenly in front of them at the corner of the street, "I'm heading off this way to Mimi's for the night - I'm so glad we got to do this guys!"

With that said, she ran up and hugged the two of them together, squeezing both their necks tight around her grasp and pulling them down almost a foot.

"Sor-," Matt sputtered, his cheek pressed up tightly against Tai's, "Y-you're choking me."

"Sorry!" she hollered, releasing both of them immediately and hopping back to her original position.

"You don't have to sleep at Mimi's tonight," he offered, rubbing his neck after she almost broke it, "I can walk you home or we can take the metro if you'd like. We don't live far from each other."

"No, no," she said reassuringly, "I have to go show her all the stuff I got, among other things. We sleep at each other's places all the time."

"Are you sure?" he pried, "I'd really feel better if I walked you home; it's gotten pretty late."

He felt a little funny putting his feelings out there in the open, especially with Tai as a bystander, but he genuinely meant what he said. Mimi's place was quite a few blocks from here and she had all the clothes she bought plus her school items to lug around. If she went by herself he would definitely worry about her well-being.

"Matt, please don't worry about me like that."

She said it sternly, but it was not lacking in the usual compassionate tone that she spoke in.

"I have my things under control. If anything, you're the one to be worrying about!"

He sputtered for a second, not really sure what to say back to such an accusation. He wondered why she would think that in the first place? Did he really seem that incompetent to people from the outside?

"Besides," she continued, "It's not like I'm just barging in. I already told Mimi while we were in the mall that I would be coming. They're already expecting me."

"Okay, but text me when you're there so I know," he added.

She rolled her eyes, but a smile also broke out onto her face as she turned and started walking down the street.

"Fiiinnnnneeee," she moaned begrudgingly" "Will do, I'll see you guys later!"

Matt stared off into Sora's direction as she walked out into the night, her ripe vermilion hair reflecting off the streetlights as she walked beneath them. In her stride there was clear confidence, composure, and grace, something that she exhuberated without even trying. It was something that she always had, though he felt she never got the recognition she deserved for it. She'd always been there for all of them, holding them together under any circumstance. In his opinion, she was pretty amazing.

Slowly, little by little, she faded into the obscurity of the night, drowned out by the countless others that scurried about their day, each trying to get somewhere before the dark overtook the dusk. As he continued to stare out, seemingly for minutes, she never turned back, leaving him the background, another memory of the day.

"Matt?"

He turned back around upon hearing his name and snapped out of it.

"What's up?" he replied casually.

"I'm gonna head off to my current stakeout as well, since it'd be out of the way to go back to Odaiba with you."

Matt thought arduously about what to say next. Sora told him not to mention anything about Tai's family, the divorce, the game, etc. But at the same time, it was important that Tai knew he had options other than just running away. In fact, Matt couldn't understand or agree with what he was doing; distancing himself from the issues were only going to make things worse in the long run, even if they're more manageable in the short term.

"Tai…" he began, ready to tell him that he should go home, that he should go back to his family and try to reconcile things with them.

But he knew he couldn't say it.

"I think…"

Tai looked at him wide-eyed, actively listening to what he was about to say.

"W-Why don't you walk home with me. You could stay over for the night if you want to and we can head off to school together in the morning."

It was the next best thing he could offer without asking too many questions and intruding upon his promise to Sora. Also, that way he'd be able to keep a constant check on Tai.

Almost before he could finish his sentence, Tai denied his request in a manner that mirrored Sora's to a T.

"No, no," he discounted passively, "My new spot is pretty lit, you know. I've met a lot of cool people and really enjoy staying there. Plus, it's closer to where we are than Odaiba is. I don't really feel like walking all that way after being on my feet for the past few hours."

Matt opened his mouth to say something but Tai jumped on the opportunity to interject before he could.

" _OR_ take the metro!"

He closed his mouth back up and sighed defeatedly to himself. He already knew he wasn't gonna win this argument.

"I mean," Tai halfheartedly continued, "Then I'd have to stick around you for longer, and I definitely don't wanna do that."

Matt faked a smile in response to his weak jab. It didn't anger him at all, he could just tell that everything coming out of his mouth was a lie, which meant that Tai was trying to keep things from him to protect _his_ feelings.

It kinda saddened him, if anything.

"Alright then," he finally responded, a hint of somberness in his voice, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, for sure!" Tai exclaimed, putting on another fake, beaming, grin to try to suggest that things were okay.

In unison, the two of them exchanged waves and turned their backs to one another, walking in opposite directions into the twilight.

…

After a few seconds, Matt slowed his pace and turned back around, gradually coming to a full halt in the middle of the occupied sidewalk. There he was, about a block away, coming in and out of focus among the swarms of people rushing through the streets.

 _And that was when he saw it._

Finally, in the moments when he thought nobody was watching, Tai let himself slip. His walk… It looked like he was carrying the world on his shoulders. It was sluggish; agony hid itself in every step. His face was stooped so low that Matt could only make out the massive bush of hair sticking out from the back of his head. Even that seemed to sink down towards the floor, unable to hold itself up against the gravity beating it down.

Tai's hands sunk deep into his pockets, so deep that Matt couldn't even make out his wrists. His knees buckled, like a cripple, while the bright new outfit hung like a dead corpse over his shoulder.

Matt wondered how he could hide all of that weight, all of that anguish, this entire time. Tai acted so normal, so, so _stable_ , this whole time that even he momentarily doubted whether his friend was really under any burden at all. Every joke, every laugh, every _smile_ ; it was all just an act. One so intricate and calculated that it almost had everyone fooled until the last minute.

But now, after seeing what he saw, Matt had his conviction. There was no doubt about it.

He was broken.

And yet, as Tai walked out into the darkness, not once did he stop. Though every step held with it the weight of the world, he kept trudging on, further and further away until finally, he was gone.

Still gazing into the nothingness, Matt wondered why he was always the one to turn around and watch the other walk away. He wondered if anyone ever did the same for him.

* * *

This chapter was really about establishing the dynamic between Tai, Matt, and Sora. Ahh, the infamous love triangle. Things are only gonna get more interesting from here so stay tuned :)

Also, as always, Follow/Fav/Review/Re-review and check my profile for updates on future chapters! I love getting the notifications!


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